==> Phylus: Freak Out.

[mapmaking]

Well, you DID IT. You finally left the comfort of your HIVE, armed with your favorite BRANCH and equipped with your new GOGGLETOP, those snazzy new hands-free eyewear computing devices you thought up. You admit that you haven't really made much in the way of alchemization, but this is one thing you enjoy.

You manage to get through the FIRST GATE and now you're...somewhere? Somewhere with NO FERNS which you think is dumb. You don't even have a map. There's no GATE in sight, and all you can see are the weird little LIZARDS that flop around on your planet and some IMPS, those stupid things.

Wait, no gate?

You're....stuck.

You're STUCK?! Wait, what!! You didn't sign up for this!

-- CURRENT careeringCartographer [CC] RIGHT NOW opened memo ahhhhhhhh. --

help--x
HELP--x!
Im losT--x!!
oh no ThIs Is scary help I canT geT back To my hIve and There are so many Imps Im goIng to dIe--x!!!!!
I NEVER WANTED TO PLAY THIS GAME IN THE FIRST PLACE--x
why--x
why dId I decIde To play--x?
I could have jusT dIed a paInless deaTh by meTeor wITh my hIvemaTes and Then I could have gone wherever you go when you dIe--x...
no sTop donT come near me--x!
I have a branch--x!

Comments

[tetchytmesis]

-- CURRENT tetchyTmesis [TT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. --

wow. calm. down. god.
what. you. need. is.
an. exploding. branch.
thatll. solve. all. your. problems.

[mapmaking]

an explodIng branch--x?
do you have The code for an explodIng branch because I donT keep explosIves around The hIve--x...

[tetchytmesis]

no.
because. who. uses. a. branch. as. a. weapon.
it. just. never. works. out.
not. even. in. the. movies.
you. know. how. fake. movies. can. be. this. should. tell. you. something.
but. i. do. have. some. codes. for. explosives.
take. your. pick.

007u3u00
frag. grenade.

1W1W1W3W
pipe. bomb.

0m1W1W30
land. mine.

[mapmaking]

whaTs a land mIne--x?

You feel so lost and confused. And vaguely like this guy might be making fun of your branchkind.

[tetchytmesis]

an. explosive. device. that. reacts. to. pressure.
so. you. stick. it. in. the. ground.
cover. it. with. some. dirt. or leaves. or. whatever.
and. whoever. steps. on. it. goes.
boom.

[mapmaking]

oh--x
so If I combIned IT wITh a sTIck I could puT IT In The ground and waIT for Them To walk over IT Then Theyll blow up--x?

[tetchytmesis]

thats. the. idea.

but. you. dont. have. to. wait. for. them. to. step. on. it.
that. leaves. things. to. chance.
and. who. knows. how. long. chance. takes.
what. you. should. do. is. place. them. in. strategic. locations.
and. lead. the. imps. to. them.
get. it.

[mapmaking]

oh--x
wow ThaT makes so much sense--x!
Thanks youre greaT--x!

[tetchytmesis]

not. really.
dont. get. your. alien. tentacles. blown. off. or. anything.
and. tell. me. if. you. combine. those. explosives. with. anything.
i. want. to. keep. track. of. what. works.

[mapmaking]

I donT have TenTacles--x!
wow ThaTs so alIen racIsT--x

I wIll donT worry--x
Ive goT some Ideas I wanT To Try--x

[tetchytmesis]

so. you. claim.
but. ill. believe. it. while. i. dont. see. it.

like. what.

[mapmaking]

look Im noT jusT goIng To sTarT TakIng pIcTures of my bulge because some weIrd alIen on The compuTer Tells me To--x
ThaTs pracTIcally solIcITaTIon--x!
I should charge you wITh quadranT prosTITuTIon--x.
buT I wonT because Im nIce--x.

lIke a branch ThaT shooTs grenades--x
and maybe--x
maybe some way of geTTIng aT The explosIves To make booTs ThaT fly--x?