==> Phylus: Freak Out.

[mapmaking]

Well, you DID IT. You finally left the comfort of your HIVE, armed with your favorite BRANCH and equipped with your new GOGGLETOP, those snazzy new hands-free eyewear computing devices you thought up. You admit that you haven't really made much in the way of alchemization, but this is one thing you enjoy.

You manage to get through the FIRST GATE and now you're...somewhere? Somewhere with NO FERNS which you think is dumb. You don't even have a map. There's no GATE in sight, and all you can see are the weird little LIZARDS that flop around on your planet and some IMPS, those stupid things.

Wait, no gate?

You're....stuck.

You're STUCK?! Wait, what!! You didn't sign up for this!

-- CURRENT careeringCartographer [CC] RIGHT NOW opened memo ahhhhhhhh. --

help--x
HELP--x!
Im losT--x!!
oh no ThIs Is scary help I canT geT back To my hIve and There are so many Imps Im goIng to dIe--x!!!!!
I NEVER WANTED TO PLAY THIS GAME IN THE FIRST PLACE--x
why--x
why dId I decIde To play--x?
I could have jusT dIed a paInless deaTh by meTeor wITh my hIvemaTes and Then I could have gone wherever you go when you dIe--x...
no sTop donT come near me--x!
I have a branch--x!

Comments

[soundtricks]

...Phylus
deep fucking breaths
divide the imps into groups you can handle
then take them out like that
you should be good for a while until they start to respawn

unfortunately, you're going to have to take the long way around your planet if you want to get back to your hive
ask your server player to help you out if you have to
ok♫

[callouslystalwart]

You're glad he finally left the safety blanket of his HIVE behind, but this is almost painfully irritating for you to watch.

Oh come on. ~~CS
It's really not that many imps! ~~CS

[defensivealchemist]

i dont think typing at the imp5 i5 going to 5care them off
u5e the 6ranch
5how them why they 5hould fear the 6ranch

[apiarycryptonaut]

You're 4bsolutely not 4llowed... to die, Phylus, no!
Get up high or... hide from them 4nd... m4ke 4 pl4n, yes!
No dying 4llowed, no!
Br4nch wh4ck them to... s4fety, yes, go, win!

[flowerwhisperer]

urm
i understand this probab|y sounds
we||, easier said then done
but p|ease take some deep breaths
fighting imps is no fun but
panicking wi|| just get you hurt more

[mapmaking]

Im TryIng buT I ThInk deep breaThs are ImpossIble--x!
Im a faIlure aT hope--x!
whaT is hope even good aT--x?

ok--x
I can do IT--x
Ill Take your advIce and dIvIde Them up ThaT makes logIcal sense--x.

[mapmaking]

I WILL SHOW THEM WHY THEY SHOULD FEAR THE BRANCH--x!

> Phylus: Hit the shit out of an imp with your favorite branch.

You do! It dies in a few hits! Of course, the other ones just cackle and move closer, but that's a step in the RIGHT DIRECTION.

I dId IT--x!

[mapmaking]

There are so many more Than There were In THe ImmediaTe vIcInITy of my hIve--x!!

[mapmaking]

I am TryIng buT These Imps are huge--x
or some of Them are--x
some of Them are acTually preTTy small--x
and There Is noThIng To clImb--x!
I ThoughT There would be ferns on The land of ferns and flow buT There arenT any--x...
noT even a Tree--x.

[mapmaking]

Im TryIng--x!
I already kIlled one of Them wITh my branch--x
I ThInk If I jusT dId IT lIke ThaT agaIn and agaIn Then maybe I could do IT--x

[flowerwhisperer]

oh
that's more or |ess how it works
just keep doing it
and barring some horrib|e coincidence
you'|| pu|| through

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh oh oh oh!
The sm4ll ones might... be e4sy, but just... trick the big ones!
If you st4y s4fe... you c4n run between... their legs, you c4n!
Sometimes they even topple... over behind you, wh4m!
They're not very sm4rt... so you c4n trick... them e4sily, I think.
Do something they wouldn't... expect you to do, yes!
You could m4ke two... run into e4chother, too.
But th4t re4lly only... works for the bigger... ones, it does, m4ybe.
Br4nch the sm4ller ones!

oh my god he's precious with that capslock

[defensivealchemist]

exce11ent!
i5 there a high place you can get to
prefera6ly one again5t a cliff with an overhang
if you can get your 6ack to a defen5i6le wa11
you can limit their approach vector5 and they11 6e ea5ier to 6eat away

[soundtricks]

then take longer breaths
I dunno
try ~something~
and dude, don't fucking ask me, I don't know myself


good
there's no point in dying after you've gotten that far, is there♫

[tetchytmesis]

-- CURRENT tetchyTmesis [TT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. --

wow. calm. down. god.
what. you. need. is.
an. exploding. branch.
thatll. solve. all. your. problems.

[callouslystalwart]

You sigh and draw up a quick WALL to divide up a small number of the IMPS from your CLIENT PLAYER.

There. ~~CS
~I'm~ not going to drop anything on them, though. ~~CS
You need the XP. ~~CS

You TWITCH and immediately set to work boxing the segregated IMPS in on all sides, making sure that the room you create is a PERFECT CUBE. You also make it a nice shade of ROYAL BLUE for funsies.

~I'll~ add a door when you're ready... ~~CS

[mapmaking]

Im TryIng I promIse--x
perrIx buIlT lITTle walls around them and made a pen or someThIng--x
The ThIng you puT your moobeasTs In--x?

Im goIng To fIghT Them--x.
I ThInk I have To--x
To geT beTTer--x





I ThInk someTImes my Team mIghT be beTTer off wIThouT me--x.

[soundtricks]

well, at least you're making the fucking effort
and yeah the hell if I know what those are called
but at least he's being useful

and yeah
if you don't, they'll just keep gettin' stronger kiddo
until they'll just take you out if you don't do it first
and I think you and I both know what your jerk 'siblings' would say to that, right♫




yeah well, join the club

[mapmaking]

I donT keep any Ill have To ask hIm--x
he can be useful--x
I ThInk he lIkes To be a hero--x
If he leT me dIe IT wouldnT be very heroIc--x

my sIblIngs would probably Throw me To The ground If I goT kIlled--x.




buT youre a fIghTer--x
I ThInk you know whaT youre doIng more Than any of us--x...

[mapmaking]

okay--x
I ThInk Im ready--x
can I jusT hIT Them wITh a branch--x?

[soundtricks]

well, it sure beats his being an enormous prick like the rest of his caste
for now, at least
but you let me know if he starts fucking up

to say the least, I mean no offense but
the like to fuck with you, but they don't take too well to anyone else doing it, yeah♫





so what♫
it's no use if no one wants to listen to me because I'm not ~nice~ to them

[artful_transgressor]

CURRENT artfulTransgressor [CAT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

wow uh
great leVelheadedness in the face of crisis there
i mean i haVent seen someone handle alarm so smoothly since the last time i watched a Video of a balloon being popped behind a purrbeast

first of all
there is no way death by meteor
or anything that comes after that
assuming there would be anything that came after that
would be preferable to being here
itd maybe be simpler
but its not like youd be able to appreciate it
so who cares

second of all
if you die now to imps
hows that any different from haVing died to meteors
aside from the fact that youd be potentially dooming those of us who still haVe a shot at surViVal
point is if all you want is death you haVent missed that particular boat yet
but i strongly suggest you put off catching that ride as long as possible
it doesnt go anywhere you want to get to

third of all
chill the fuck out
imps arent that tough
although seriously
a branch???
get yourself a better strife specibus
like stat
that shit is amateur hour

finally
who the fuck eVen are you

[mapmaking]

an explodIng branch--x?
do you have The code for an explodIng branch because I donT keep explosIves around The hIve--x...

[mapmaking]

well ok yeah he--x

You quickly remember that this is a MEMO and that he can READ IT. Oops.

well yeah--x
They know ThaT whaT Theyre doIng Is goIng to make me beTTer--x
I mean I was always The weak one of all of us--x

I wanT To lIsTen--x...

Re: oh my god he's precious with that capslock

[mapmaking]

Theres a clIff do you ThInk ThaT would work--x?
and I ThInk If I wanTed To go swImmIng I mIghT be able to TrIck Them InTo fallIng InTo all ThIs gold sTuff--x
buT Ill Try To fInd some sorT of wall ThIng--x