[Memo (Kids)/Open otherwise] ===> Shea: Figure out what the hell is going on.

[ataraxicarcher]

Okay. So now that you've settled in a bit, taken over as a temporary server (or so you think) and lost your mom (Well, she wandered off somewhere. Parents are so difficult sometimes), you think getting up to speed might be in order. Sure there's probably a manual… But if you're gonna get your ass to grist grinding or whatever, it's probably easier to just ask.

-- ataraxicArcher [AA] RIGHT NOW opened memo what is this fuckery on board PSA RE: The End of the World and You --

AA: okay sup bitches?
AA: yeah so i wasn't gonna play the game but then fucking meteors /wtf /andididntseeBruceWillis
AA: fucking surprise guys im not dead /insertapplausehere
AA: talking with Eric so i kno some of you cats are ok and shit. and im seeing screennames here so im gonna assume that you're either alive in the game, a zombie or this is some crazy mushroom samba trip someone got me on or its a dream like fucking Inception and Leonardo DiCaprio is fucking with me.
AA: man i thought they were totes joking about that 2012 bullshittery /guesstheyshowedme
AA: anyway, did i miss any fun shit like outside running jumping climbing leaning tower of babel houses? i mean i know i gotta aim for that pie in the sky. well, spiralgraph lightshow thing /whatev but should i know anything else?
AA: alsokljdsgkllklkkldlksgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
AA: fucking wow. anyone got recommendations on how to keep a honey badger sprite thing from getting all up in your business?


[OOC: Memo's to kids, but Shea's signed on so anyone can pester her. :v]

Comments

===> Avispa: Oh no; she's online.

[apiarycryptonaut]

You need a solution. You can't just keep breaking down into tears every time you see her online.

-- apiaryCryptonaut [AC] began pestering ataraxicArcher [AA] --

................
................
................
................

No, you can't, you can't even manage a word. You didn't give yourself enough time!

-- apiaryCryptonaut [AC] is now an idle chum! --

===> Shea: FACEPALM x2 COMBO

[ataraxicarcher]

What the fuck? This person again? You really don't recall ever seeing them in the memo. SIGH. Well, guess it's good they're...Alive and stuff.

so youre in this game too. oh boy just to get this out there, youre messaging me first. i am not responsible for whatever fucking trauma you suddenly get because you cant handle my sick pop culture reference that i drop faster than they do in an episode of the Gilmore girls

also i don't read dots cause that aint any Morse code i know. totes rude. can i at least get words?

===> Avispa: Oh no she's angry already

[apiarycryptonaut]

-- apiaryCryptonaut [AC] is no longer idle! --

I.... .... .... ....
.... um.... .... ....
.... .... th4t.... ....
.... .... .... is....

No. You have to talk about this. You'll try to disregard the puzzles in her words, you know they're just lures. You have to get past those!

I'm not going to... be 4fr4id of you... 4nymore, 4t 4ll, no!

[ataraxicarcher]

You have no idea what this person is going on about.

what.

[apiarycryptonaut]

I s4id I'm not... going to be 4fr4id... of you 4nymore, no!
Not your puzzle ruining!
Not your mean rem4rks!
None of it, no!

[ataraxicarcher]

Maybe if you can use logic, you can figure out what their damage is (thank you Heathers for that entry into your personal lexicon). You take a moment to try this.

...

Yup. Still unable to fathom the inscrutable depths of this person's mind.

omg none of those were puzzles. like it was totally not some sort of labyrinth, Will Shortz crossword or like some riddle of the sphinx also maybe you can take this as a suggestion, but you might want to reevaluate your priorities and shit atm. /seriously

[apiarycryptonaut]

You're so tempted to respond, she's clearly throwing puzzles at you, trying to distract you, trying to break your focus. You have to stay focused!

I've 4lre4dy reev4lu4ted things!
You're too me4n to... keep doing this, yes!
I won't st4nd for... it 4t 4ll, no!
You're still trying to... fool me but I... won't let you do... it 4g4in, no! Never!

===> Shea: Respond to the densest person on...Well...Wherever

[ataraxicarcher]

What has your life even become. The world as we know it has ended and you're arguing with someone over pesterchum. You clearly cannot ever escape the wide-reaching tendrils of the internet. At least you think it's still the internet.

are you seriously this fucking dense? like reaching critical mass plutonium-grade dense. you have to be trolling. /againpriorities so ok, its the internet, i understand we're all here because we have our little insecurities and fucked up issues but oh. my. god. can we not work through your problem? i never volunteered for this, i am not Freud and i cannot help you sort through all your confused feels right now

===> Avispa: Stand your ground.

[apiarycryptonaut]

I'm not confused, no!
You hurt me, yes!
You did hurt me!
4nd you're re4lly me4n!
Re4lly, re4lly, re4lly me4n!
The me4nest I've met!
You're still being me4n!

Surely it wasn't that hard for the other party to understand? She hadn't met anyone this not-nice before!

===> Shea: Wonder what is up this person /seriously

[ataraxicarcher]

You do not understand this person. But talking to them is like some glorious train wreck you can't tear yourself away from now. You're in too deep. You're the person who gets called in to be a witness of the wreck because you were instagraming the whole thing.

i havent even met you before. hurting you would be like finding out where you live, kicking down the front door while screaming "where's Johnny" and throwing you down some stairs. or like saying yo momma's so fat or something and setting a thousand screaming neckbeards via inflammatory post on you

how have i been mean? i was trying to help you navigate slang. jfc i think tbh youre being the mean one with all your oblique puzzlecode speak. /alsol33twasso2004

===> Avispa: Become confused

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh god, she's doing it again, and now she's calling you mean. She's throwing puzzles at you, again, puzzles you'll never be able to even begin solving, but most of all, you? Mean?

Th4t's not wh4t I...
Th4t isn't how this...
No! How 4m I... the one being me4n!?
You're the me4n one!
Look 4t wh4t you've... done to me, how c4n... I be the me4nie?!

===> Shea: Reevaluate your own life choices at the moment

[ataraxicarcher]

youre being all omg the puzzles when they arent puzzles at all. i think youre either seriously in need of like a different hobby or youre pulling my leg /duh

[chroniker]

Hey, Shea! You made it in the game too!
And man, Inception, I loved that movie. It does remind me of what we have going on here...
But anyways, erm. What have your consorts told you?
They've supposed to give hints about what to do, I think!
And I don't really know about how to deal with the sprite thing, sorry. 8(
I have problems with my sprite on my own, if you could say that, hehe.

===> Avispa: Become angry

[apiarycryptonaut]

Don't m4ke fun of... my puzzles, don't, no!
I S4ID DON'T M4KE FUN OF MY PUZZLES!!!!
STOP. STOP STOP STOP. RIGHT NOW, STOP IT.
YOU 4RE BEING ME4N!!!! YOU'RE RE4LLY SUPER ME4N!

[ataraxicarcher]

heard from Eric that you were a-okay. and what can i say about getting into the game? imminent danger will do that for you /ilovethesmellofadrenalineinthemorning

seriously. i was very disappointed i didn't see Leo blazing through, but i swear to god if i hear Edith Piaf music inexplicably playing from nowhere i am going to try to get the hell out of dodge.

consorts? wait, am i like some sort of fucking pimp now? oh wait, that's courteseans /disregard what do they look like? where the hell do you find them? cause you know i've sort of been sticking around the house. because it's like fucking mt Everest and K2 had mountain babies. like literally. all over. /okaymaybeitsmorelikemt.McKinleyandKilimanjaro

what unfortunate things did you make into a sprite? i can strongly recommend against fucking throwing taxidermied honey badgers into it

===> Shea: Be a little more cautious around the crazy person

[ataraxicarcher]

holy crap man, dont flip all your shits like its going out of style. /capslockwoah

i wasnt even making fun of your puzzles, dude. chill.

===> Avispa: Stay angry

[apiarycryptonaut]

YOU WERE BEING ME4N!
RE4LLY RE4LLY RE4LLY ME4N!
4ND I WON'T LET YOU KEEP BEING ME4N!
BEC4USE TH4T'S NOT NICE!

[chroniker]

Yes, Eric and me have been in contact, she mentioned that you were her server!
Still haven't heard from her previous server, though...
Oh man, if you do hear Edith Piaf, that would be weird and very dangerous!
Don't go throwing yourself off a cliff or anything anytime soon.
Besides, you already are supposed to have a dream self!
I found that out when I took a quick nap...
And they're supposed to be around your land, yes! They're different for each one of us.
So, sadly, you will have to leave your house at some point if you want to make progress...
And. Well. Erm. A bird skeleton, and...
Gosh, the second thing is a bit embarrassing and personal and I'm not entirely sure how this would go over at all. 8(

[ataraxicarcher]

uh. what? are we seriously going back into some sort of fucked up circle of a convo again /eyeroll

[apiarycryptonaut]

We're not stopping t4lking 4bout you being 4 me4n person, nope, nope.
Bec4use you're 4 re4lly me4n person 4nd I don't like th4t, no.
I re4lly don't, no.
I don't like you, I think, 4nd I don't even know your n4me.
You're just 4 big b4d puzzle me4nie without 4 n4me 4t 4ll.

[ataraxicarcher]

i am. eh, its temporary i guess until she gets on i think? then we will transition like im passing the Olympic torch and shit and work out all these shenanigans.

nah, id just fill up the tub and dunk my head in. much safer

huh? dream self? that like some sort of cool alter-ego or something? /fuckyes

bluh. i figured i'd have to leave at some point, but geeze gonna be a pain in the ass. it's gonna be like level grinding in a mmorpg or some shit /1expperkillherewego

bird skeleton...glad i'm not the only person who thought something dead would be a brilliant fucking idea to stick in the sprite. well if you feel like its super personal you dont need to share, but you know judging isnt my big thing /aintmystyle

unless it's like some dead cop or something you killed, in that case i might not want to know that.

[ataraxicarcher]

...puzzle meanie? if you werent so frustrating and possibly crazy, that would actually be sort of adorable. /whatareyou5?

[apiarycryptonaut]

You're still being me4n... to me even s4ying... things like th4t, you!
I still don't know... your n4me either, no!
If you don't stop... I'm just going to... c4ll you puzzle me4nie!
Bec4use it's wh4t you... 4re, 4 puzzle me4nie!

[tetchytmesis]

Shea's alive, huh. Lame.

(And, OK, so you are a little relieved she's not dead. Whatever.)

brains.
i. still. dont. want. to. play. this. game.

[ataraxicarcher]

theres at least a planets worth of distance from you so i dont have to fear your shambling right now.

and yet here you are. /funnyhowlifeworks