scrib | [S] Zurahe: Freak The Fuck Out

-- CURRENT blackoutEtude [BE] RIGHT NOW opened memo WHAT THE FUCK♫♪. --

Your name is ZURAHE CADENS, and once again you've chosen to make a VIDEO MEMO rather than a TEXT one. However, taking into account the situation at hand, you feel as if you are HIGHLY JUSTIFIED in doing so. After all, it's not every day a CHUNK OF OCEAN replaces a part of the planet you'd been headed toward, and remains, to your relief, more or less SELF-CONTAINED. You're not sure what you'd do if it started flooding- you hate deep water and just about everything having to do with it. It's a lucky thing for you that the water doesn't seem to be going anywhere. YET.

You're not sure whether you're more ENRAGEDd or TERRIFIED by this phenomenon, so naturally you choose to display the latter, expression twisting into a snarl. You turn on and pan the camera of one of your spare computers around, and make sure the mic to your A.V.E.S. is turned off before you actually 'speak'.

So. Who wants to fucking tell me. Just what the actual fresh fuckin' HELL I'm looking at here?

Because from what I can tell, it looks like there's a fuckload of ocean sitting in the middle of my goddamn planet and it ain't supposed to be-- Princess, I'm lookin' at you.

Now. Can someone tell me how to get all this bulgesucking water off my PLANET?!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

it's a planet, not an ablution trap you plum-writin' peon♪♪
I don't have any convenient drains♪

Better start digging.
Or lasering.
You can make lasers, right?
And if I'm a peon, why am I the one helping you?

no way
I want this crap ~off~ my planet
not further in it

and you know, I have no idea
your own bad decision I guess

You do know that water tends to eventually absorb itself into the dirt, right?
You could try using fire or something to turn it into steam.
Or turn it to ice and break it.

not this crap
it's been here for hours and it ain't budged
and yeah, I'm doing that now, sorta♫
not so much the breaking as the freezing though

Then how much water IS there?

it's a lot
like I told Kysley, it's a fuckton

And it's just a giant blob of water.
Sitting there.
Not moving at all?

yep
it's really fucking creepy

fucking water
I don't trust the stuff- or anything that lives in it

Then just walk away from it.
If it decides to start, you know, acting like water, you might wanna be far away.

but my consorts have a village nearby

Make a few ditches and give them a moat.

nope
they're counting on me to fix this stupid planet
I can't just half-ass something and say 'good luck'
it'd completely set back all the work I've already done

That's why you don't half-ass it and build them an actual moat.
And then they have water.

Unless you're implying that whatever you do to get rid of this water is gonna be half-assed anyway.

no, I mean I'm not going to half-ass my quests
or helping them out
like I'm ~supposed~ to

You still haven't given me a good reason why you haven't dug a moat.
It's probably more productive than standing there and bitching at the water.

I'm not bitching ~at~ the water
I'm bitching ~about~ the water

and it's because there's a power system under the ground here
I'm supposed to fix it, not ruin it more

What if the power system runs on water?

no, they told me what it runs on
and trust me, it ain't water

Then what the fuck does it run on?

Denizen

What the fuck is a denizen.

optional sort of boss monster thing
y' can fight it
or y' can take whatever deal it makes you
either way, it's supposed to help you, one way or another
apparently mine's also supposed t' power my planet
but the fucker's gone AWOL

[S] Zurahe: Freak The Fuck Out

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that feeling when you realize just how far back into the game a thread is

welp