==> Phylus: Freak Out.

[mapmaking]

Well, you DID IT. You finally left the comfort of your HIVE, armed with your favorite BRANCH and equipped with your new GOGGLETOP, those snazzy new hands-free eyewear computing devices you thought up. You admit that you haven't really made much in the way of alchemization, but this is one thing you enjoy.

You manage to get through the FIRST GATE and now you're...somewhere? Somewhere with NO FERNS which you think is dumb. You don't even have a map. There's no GATE in sight, and all you can see are the weird little LIZARDS that flop around on your planet and some IMPS, those stupid things.

Wait, no gate?

You're....stuck.

You're STUCK?! Wait, what!! You didn't sign up for this!

-- CURRENT careeringCartographer [CC] RIGHT NOW opened memo ahhhhhhhh. --

help--x
HELP--x!
Im losT--x!!
oh no ThIs Is scary help I canT geT back To my hIve and There are so many Imps Im goIng to dIe--x!!!!!
I NEVER WANTED TO PLAY THIS GAME IN THE FIRST PLACE--x
why--x
why dId I decIde To play--x?
I could have jusT dIed a paInless deaTh by meTeor wITh my hIvemaTes and Then I could have gone wherever you go when you dIe--x...
no sTop donT come near me--x!
I have a branch--x!

Comments

[mapmaking]

shuT IT okay--x?
aT home I worked In a Team and hId when danger was around and I was alone--x
Ive never worked lIke ThIs before--x

and I wouldve been wITh my frIends--x
noT alone lIke ThIs--x





hey--x
HEY--x
you can pIck on me all you wanT buT donT--x
fuck wITh The branch--x.

[artful_transgressor]

youre still working in a team yknow
were just spread out
haVe you neVer had to fend for yourself eVen momentarily on your team before
they cant actually haVe been watching you eVery fucking second right

anyway
this games asking eVeryone to do a LOT of shit theyVe neVer eVen thought of trying before
theres no point complaining about it
cause trust me the game doesnt care
either you adapt or its gonna kill you

also what
you wouldnt haVe been with your friends youd be DEAD
being simultaneously dead isnt the same thing as keeping them company
when you die thats it
eVerything that was you is gone
theres no big afterparty you can go hang out at with all your dead friends

Much, much later in the session, you will learn about dream bubbles. And you will then feel like paradox space set you up for this joke at your expense.

You weren't actually planning on sharing your fatalistic views on death with this troll; in fact you actively skirted around it in your last response, because you were trying to be as respectful and helpful as you are currently capable of being. But your priority has now shifted to 'show him how fucking stupid wishing for death is'.

theres seriously only one benefit when you die
and thats your not being around to be aware of being alone in the goddamn Void
so again
there is absolutely no benefit to your being dead and there was neVer gonna be
this is why people try to stay aliVe
stop acting like you opted out of something BETTER by being here
it wouldnt haVe been better
and there wouldnt haVe been a you to appreciate it
there are ridiculously few situations in which death is the preferable option

and im not picking on you
im trying to make you see sense
and help you stay aliVe
and its not like a branch is exactly the ideal weapon for
well basically anything

You're trying very hard to focus on being helpful and keep your insults to a minimum. You have never in all your sweeps of talking to other trolls been good at this while frustrated. (Or at all, really.)

[mapmaking]

no--x
ThaTs noT The way our Team worked--x.
ITs hard To explaIn unless you were There buT we had a plan and we sTuck To IT--x.

ThaTs noT True--x
I know IT IsnT--x
There are a loT of ThiNgs you can say abouT deaTh buT ThaT IsnT one of Them--x
because youve never been There--x
so sTop acTIng lIke you have--x.

fuck you--x
my branch Is greaT--x.

[artful_transgressor]

ugh
whateVer
the point is youre still on a team now
and you dying would fuck oVer a bunch of people who are in fact your teammates
maybe this isnt the kind of team youre used to
but itd still be a massiVe dick moVe to go 'well fuck you guys' and die
especially when some of em went to lengths to make it so you are in fact aliVe now by getting you into the game
i dunno how this game works yet
but im not sure anyones a spare who can just casually die without eVeryone being supremely fucked
so you talking about how you wanna die
is basically you saying 'i dont really care if all the rest of you die too
whether you want to or not
im taking you with me'
do you see why im haVing a problem with your suicidal moaning yet

okay so iVe neVer died
well spotted there
neither haVe you
so you cant say youre right any more than i can
but giVen that dying is fucking IRREVERSIBLE
and that theres at LEAST a 50/50 chance its not half as good as whateVer ideal youVe got
can we at least agree its better you dont rush to find out whos correct here

for fucks sake
try to giVe someone some helpful adVice
keep the branch if you want i dont fucking care
i just figured it was a weapon of desperation
especially since you sounded
yknow
screamingly desperate
but hey if thats what you want then knock yourself out

[mapmaking]

by lyIng To me--x
They dIdnT boTher To Tell me ThaT we were on a Team or whaT kInd of game IT was--x.

whaTever--x.

-- careeringCartographer [CC] banned themself from responding to the memo. --