[S] Perrix: Be overwhelmed.

[callouslystalwart]

For the moment, you're again PERRIX SEIYOS and you're still mostly BEING A BADASS.

Thanks to your trusty PERSONAL PORTABLE PAPARAZZI, you are again broadcasting your WHOLESALE ASS-WHOOPINGS to anyone who cares to watch. You're busting out all kinds of ridiculous acrobatic maneuvers off of so many handle-like objects (mostly broken flagpoles). You give an IMP something that looks a lot like this and even manage one of these on an OGRE.

Then SOMETHING UNEXPECTED happens.

The tides turn.

Where before the video had merely shown ONE (1) PERRIX SEIYOS beating up on a REASONABLE NUMBER (~) OF IMPS AND OGRES, the scene is now one of ONE (1) PERRIX SEIYOS "tactically withdrawing" from a TOTALLY HELLACIOUS NUMBER (?) OF IMPS and then some. And then a few more. In fact, the stream doesn't seem to be slowing down - at least one new IMP seems to come from some unknown location and onto the screen every second. They squabble and trip over one another for a bit, but you are now quite visibly running from what is a veritable KATAMARI OF PISSED-OFF IMPS, with yet more running amok all over besides. It isn't long before the tide of fangs and limbs washes over your PERSONAL PORTABLE PAPARAZZI, cutting the feed.

About 20 minutes later, after you've found a relatively safe hiding spot in the top of one of LOAAR's many broken spires and tended to your wounds, you decide you should open a memo to let others know of this HORRIBLE CATASTROPHE. It's not like you can do anything else when there is a figurative SEA OF IMPS skittering around the base of the spire - your saving grace is that they largely lack your JUMPING SKILL. You're suddenly very thankful that none of the ALPHA PLAYERS prototyped anything that could grant flight or exceptional climbing ability.


-- callouslyStalwart [CS] RIGHT NOW opened memo Bollocks. --

CS: ~I'm~ fine for now, for the record. ~~CS
CS: But this is absolutely dreadful! ~~CS
CS: They're worth less than a single XP each! ~~CS


You've got your priorities in order.

Comments

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh oh oh oh!
Perrix, Perrix Perrix Perrix!
Th4t's e4sy to de4l... with, it is, yes!
You should blow them... 4ll up, yes, 4bsolutely!
Boom, 4nd then they... 4ll pop, I think!
4nd then it'll r4in... grist 4ll over, yes!

[callouslystalwart]

~I've~ actually tried that already. ~~CS
~I~ snagged one of those codes for explosives that'd been going around and ~I'd kept a few on ~my~ person in case of emergency. ~~CS
More simply spawned to take their place. ~~CS
~I'm~ now out of said explosives and lack immediate access to alchemizing facilities. ~~CS

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh, then distr4ct them... with something shiny, yes!
4nd then you c4n... 4lchemize more, or 4... new kind of explosive!
Or m4ybe 4 big... skull to b4sh them?

Or um, Phylus 4nd... I could try to... rush there, m4ybe, yes?
We could help, 4bsolutely!

[callouslystalwart]

Saved by Kusbir and Inatta? Oh hell no.

Oh, no need! ~~CS
Please, continue about your business and at your own pace. ~~CS
~I~ said that ~I~ was fine. ~~CS
~I'll~ have this figured out soon enough! ~~CS
The issue isn't that ~I~ can't handle them, it's that they're scarcely even worth handling and ignoring them would be irritating, that's all... ~~CS

[apiarycryptonaut]

But it's f4ster to... blow them up, m4ybe?
Then you don't h4ve... to h4ndle them one... 4t 4 time, no!
You h4ndle them 4s... 4 big bundle, boom!
Distr4ct them first, yes!
4nd them explode them!
We c4n bring explosives... if you w4nt, Perrix!
We could help you... f4ster, I think, yes!
Th4t seems like 4... better solution, 4bsolutely, m4ybe!
Less time w4sted, yes?

[artful_transgressor]

artfulTransgressor [AT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

holy shit
did you piss off the imp gods or what

[callouslystalwart]

~I've~ no idea! ~~CS
They just suddenly started to spawn in absolutely ludicrous numbers. ~~CS
~I~ can't imagine ~I've~ done anything more grievous to them than any other player. ~~CS
~We're~ all wholesale slaughtering them, after all. ~~CS

[artful_transgressor]

maybe the game saw your showboating
and it was like 'hey
if its so easy for you we can totally fix that'
that or youVe just got a super fun glitch
good luck with that
at least iVe only got static

[callouslystalwart]

~I~ have been performing rather spectacularly... ~~CS
But ~I'm~ leaning more towards a glitch, ~myself~. ~~CS
An increased spawn rate would be one thing, but they each are giving practically no experience or grist whatsoever. ~~CS
It doesn't seem right. ~~CS
What exactly are you dealing with, then? ~~CS

[polygraphing]

hahahahahahaha oh my god
that waz hilariouz

[callouslystalwart]

~I'm~ glad that you were amused, at least. ~~CS

[polygraphing]

oh man how they juzt
zudenly multiplied
like
zurprize lozer there are aktualy a fukcton of uz
fukcerz juzt kept koming omg
and then you juzt had to run hahahaha
zhit waz zome klazik komedy there

[callouslystalwart]

~I~ did not RUN. ~~CS

[defensivealchemist]

-- CURRENT defensiveAlchemist[DA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. --

D:=
how are they 5pawning that fa5t
what happened to contro11ing the 5pawn rate with player point of view

[callouslystalwart]

~I've~ no clue! ~~CS
~I~ was still interested in that sort of tactic, but it doesn't seem to matter with how quickly they spawn... ~~CS
~I~ mean, ~my~ planet is a desert so it's not like there's a lot of debris to hide behind. ~~CS
They seem to be spawning far enough that they're behind the horizon, but doing so quickly enough that they can just follow the congregated line to ~me~. ~~CS
It's rather irritating. ~~CS

[defensivealchemist]

that5
entirely more inte11igent than i thought they could be
were you may6e in the middle of a que5t that changed 5omething on your world when they 5tarted doing that

[callouslystalwart]

Not particularly. ~~CS
~I~ was just dispatching a group while on ~my~ way to a dungeon, but ~I~ hadn't gotten there yet. ~~CS

[twintimes]

good on you for survIvIng thAt!!
oh wow but you're lucky none of them cAn fly
I don't suppose you cArry AnythIng thAt could explode
to reduce the numbers some??

[callouslystalwart]

~I~ already did. ~~CS
It made no appreciable progress and now ~I~ have no more. ~~CS

[twintimes]

..then I hope some of your teAmmAtes come to help you out
or hAve you come up wIth some other wAy out of It.. ?

[callouslystalwart]

~I~ don't need help. ~~CS
That said, some if ~my~ teammates are in the way now for unrelated reasons. ~~CS
~I~ simply do not see the need to overexert ~myself~ before they arrive. ~~CS

[appleful]

WHOA
THERE'S A GIANT BABY BOOM ON YOUR PLANET
YOU SHOULD TEACH IMPS ABOUT CONDOMS

[callouslystalwart]

~I~... ~~CS
What? ~~CS

[appleful]

WHY DID YOU ALLOW THE IMPS TO HAVE SEX EVERYWHERE
they're multiplying like rabbits
YOUR CONSORT WILL BECOME A MINORITY
THE'LL OVERTAKE THEIR VILLAGES
AND TURN THEM INTO SLAVES
FIX IT!!!!!

[callouslystalwart]

~I~ believe it to be a glitch. ~~CS
~I~ am fairly certain that imps cannot knock boots in that manner. ~~CS
...And ~I~ do not particularly care to find out. ~~CS