[S] Avispa: Alchemize

[apiarycryptonaut]

You resume being AVISPA KUSBIR.

You are ridiculously happy with the loot that you've alchemized so far, and are in the process of alchemizing right this instant! But given that you just did something that you're incredibly proud of, you couldn't help yourself from telling, well, EVERYONE.

Previously, you had alchemized four of your STILETTOS into two DOUBLE STILETTOS, and then turned those into your new 4-POINT SHURIKEN. It was a great weapon! You also alchemized the REBELLION DRESS and the RUBIK'S SPIRAL CHALLENGE for your own entertainment. That was the first four! Now, you've finished two of your next four and, though you got distracted, have two more to go. Already finished is your new weapon, the CRYSTAL CROSS, and your new HUSKTOP SHADES. Now you can tell Durian you absolutely can't drop your husktop again; even if you still use the normal husktop.

But, really, now you're just distracted. Because you decided to use the code to alchemize a certain player's SEVERED HEAD. You had alchemized one, and then another, and then two more. With FOUR HEADS laying around, you knew what you had to do. Now, of course, you have three heads and one skull sitting behind you.

And that's where you are now. You've started up a video to tell someone that you got a new skull, but you can't decide on who... so you just decide to TELL EVERYONE.

Of course, you're still COVERED IN PURPLE BLOOD and there are THREE HEADS and ONE SKULL sitting behind you, and your NEW WEAPON is sitting beside you... But none of this dawns on you, you're just excited about the skull! Video, go!



--apiaryCryptonaut [AC] RIGHT NOW opened memo SKULL!!!!--

AC: Everyone everyone everyone everyone!!!!
AC: I did it, yes!
AC: I figured it out... 4nd got the skull, yes!
AC: It's right here, see?
AC: 4nd I c4n get... three more, so, four!
AC: Four skulls, yes, 4m4zing!
AC: You c4n do 4nything... using 4lchemizing, I think!
AC: If you h4ven't tried... to 4lchmize yet, you... should try it, yes!
AC: I m4de other things... too, yes, so everyone... should 4lchemize 4 lot!
AC: It's just so so... so so exciting, yes!!!!

Comments

[apiarycryptonaut]

AC: But he w4sn't using... th4t he4d 4t 4ll.
AC: He w4s the one... who g4ve me his... he4d to use, um.
AC: Um um um um... 4lso do you h4ve... 4 n4me m4ybe, I... don't w4nt to c4ll... you "um", I think.
AC: 4nd oh, the skulls!
AC: I re4lly like skulls!
AC: 4nd um, some of... my skulls from before... broke, 4nd I don't... h4ve 4ny skulls like... these ones 4t 4ll!
AC: But now I do!

[artful_transgressor]

AT: he what now
AT: okay
AT: first things first
AT: theres something wrong with BOTH of you
AT: second things second
AT: how the fuck is he still aliVe if his head is right there
AT: like
AT: four times oVer?
AT: what the fuck eVen i just noticed its the same goddamn head
AT: last things last but most definitely not least
AT: NO ONE BUT YOU AND HIM FUCKING KNEW YOU DIDNT RIP HIS HEAD RIGHT THE FUCK OFF HIS GUSHING NECK STUMP
AT: so maybe PREFACING your post with that information might haVe been the yknow
AT: intelligent
AT: sane
AT: TOP FUCKING PRIORITY OF ANYONE WITH SENSE
AT: i loVe that i actually haVe to EXPLAIN THIS
AT: how can i literally be playing a game with our liVes in the balance with people this dense
AT: i almost forgot why aVoiding socializing with you people was a good idea
AT: eVery time i talk to someone its like the Voice of the uniVerse itself booming from on high
AT: telling me to just snap my own spine now
AT: so i can bend oVer far enough to kiss my own ass goodbye
AT: but you know what fuck it
AT: yeah thats great
AT: your skull collection has expanded im super fucking happy for you

AT: also normally id be way too fucking disillusioned with life at this point to just toss my name out there
AT: but anything to make you sound less like your train of thought is derailing eVery three seconds would be a fucking mercy at this point
AT: so its lyn
AT: no alterations or substitutions accepted

[apiarycryptonaut]

AC: Oh, I didn't think... 4bout th4t, m4ybe, I... thought everyone knew, m4ybe?
AC: He s4id he h4d... 4 de4d himself l4ying... ne4rby, m4ybe, I think?
AC: 4nd since the other... him w4s de4d, he... w4sn't using the he4d!
AC: It's e4sy to 4lchmize... 4ctu4lly, so I m4de... four of them, yes.
AC: So, um, th4t's, um.
AC: ... ... ... ...

AC: Oh! Lyn, y4y, yes!
AC: It's nice to meet... you, Lyn, it is!
AC: I'm 4visp4, hello, yes.
AC: You don't h4ve to... 4void 4nyone, I promise!

[artful_transgressor]

AT: giVe me one good reason why eVeryone would haVe known that
AT: also how does he eVen have a dead him just lying around
AT: ...wait
AT: is he a Time player

AT: aVispa
AT: yeah okay
AT: and i wasnt strictly aVoiding people because all my fellow players seem to be screaming idiots and or lunatics
AT: not that it isnt a damn good reason
AT: but in my experience id neVer talk to anybody if stupidity and crazy were legitimate social obstacles
AT: anyway
AT: iVe been busy
AT: with a lot of shit

[apiarycryptonaut]

AC: Oh, yes, I think!
AC: I think he's the... Prince of Time, m4ybe!
AC: We h4ve 4 prince... in the g4me, wow!
AC: Well, multiple princes, yes.

AC: Wh4t h4ve you been... busy doing m4ybe, Lyn?
AC: 4lchemizing too, m4ybe, yes????
AC: I hope you were... 4lchemizing things, yes, m4ybe!
AC: 4nd not dying, yes.
AC: Th4t p4rt is very... very very very import4nt!
AC: You're not 4llowed to... die, ok4y, Lyn, yes!

[artful_transgressor]

AT: ugh
AT: great
AT: my sprites been telling me all about this aspect
AT: and about how it inVolVes getting fucked oVer by the session eVen harder than most do
AT: so a guy with a cooler title than me is already racking up dead selVes from presumably another timeline or time loop
AT: fanfuckingtastic
AT: this bodes so well for my future

AT: iVe been making lots of shit yeah
AT: and killing all the imps i can find
AT: fuckers are goddamn elusiVe
AT: my asshole ancestor somehow managed to not just surViVe for way longer than should eVer haVe been eVen remotely possible
AT: but prototype himself just before i entered
AT: and he has the same psionic abilities as me
AT: so the motherfucking imps are goddamn inVisible half the time
AT: which makes grinding for grist a huge fucking pain in the waste chute let me tell you
AT: but i think iVe finally got all the gear worth making outta what iVe got on me at the moment
AT: but iVe also been dealing with the fucking fallout from my aspect
AT: which has also been a barrel of laughs

AT: also
AT: in case you haVent worked this out yet
AT: and i wouldnt be at all surprised if you hadnt
AT: despite the copious hints
AT: im a time player too
AT: rogue of time
AT: and time players tend to die a lot
AT: through time loops or Various other time shenanigans
AT: so my sprite tells me being the cheery helpful fuckass that he is
AT: by which i mean he is the exact opposite of any of those things
AT: except for the fuckass part he is one of those down to the bone
AT: forbidding me from dying is probably like forbidding a seadweller to drink water

[apiarycryptonaut]

AC: You c4n do it... you c4n, Lyn, yes!
AC: Good luck, I think!

AC: Th4t sounds re4lly re4lly... re4lly re4lly sc4ry, 4ctu4lly.
AC: The imps 4re 4lre4dy... good 4t sne4king 4round.
AC: But invisibility, too, wow.
AC: Th4t's re4lly sc4ry, yes.
AC: But oh, um, ge4r!
AC: With ge4r you c4n... be s4fe from imps!

AC: 4nd oh, oh oh... oh, wow, yes wow!
AC: I didn't know we... h4d rogues in the... g4me 4t 4ll, no!
AC: I'm trying to le4rn... 4ll of them, 4nd... th4t's 4nother one, yes!
AC: Th4nk you, yes, Lyn!
AC: But um, YOU you... 4ren't 4llowed to die.
AC: Bec4use the other yous... 4ren't ex4ctly you, no.
AC: They're other yous, m4ybe?
AC: Like how these he4ds... 4re other he4ds, 4nd... not Komesh's 4ctu4l he4d!
AC: Simple, I think, yes!
AC: So no dying, Lyn!

[artful_transgressor]

AT: good luck you THINK
AT: are you literally this unsure about eVerything you say or is this just a really dumb quirk

AT: fuck that im safe now
AT: these imps are chumps
AT: iVe liVed with these psionics my whole fucking life
AT: theyVe just had em dumped in their laps
AT: theyre no good at using em properly or strategically
AT: and eVen if they were i know how to spot my own damn powers being used thank you
AT: and im a class aboVe when it comes to stealth in any case
AT: theyVe got nothing on me
AT: its just fucking annoying
AT: it makes finding em so i can beat the grist out of em a lot slower of a process

AT: weVe got at least two i think
AT: me and some other girl
AT: also all the other hypothetical mes are in fact exactly me
AT: right up to the point where they die
AT: and another me comes along to keep shit going
AT: then they become just another corpse
AT: and if you mean me as in the specific me thats talking to you right now
AT: cant make any promises there either
AT: any me that dies after this point in the timeline will in fact be this me
AT: just one that splintered off from this point
AT: but all my dead selVes that pile up after this will at one point haVe been this me right here
AT: so yeah
AT: like i said
AT: being a time player sucks and telling them not to die is basically insanely futile
AT: that said i haVent eVen figured out how to make time loops yet
AT: so for right now there really is only me
AT: no time traVel shenanigans happening yet
AT: which makes eVerything a lot simpler but it also means iVe only got the one life to work with

AT: ...wait
AT: thats komesh?
AT: thats his head youVe got right there?
AT: holy shit

This situation just got a whole lot more disturbing. You've TALKED to Komesh. You thought he was perhaps as decent as a highblood seadweller could get. And the first look at him you get is at several of his severed heads scattered around another troll's feet.

And he's a Time player as well. That's new information.

[apiarycryptonaut]

AC: Um, I don't know... 4ctu4lly, m4ybe, prob4bly, no?
AC: But I know I... h4ve to think, right?
AC: If I didn't think... things, th4t would be... very b4d, it would!
AC: Or, m4ybe, I think.

AC: Oh, wow, Lyn, you... h4ve psionics, you do?
AC: Wow wow wow wow!
AC: Th4t prob4bly m4kes be4ting... the imps up 4... lot more fun, yes?
AC: But um, m4ybe if... you spl4sh things 4t... them they'll be e4sier... to see, yes, m4ybe?
AC: Oh, like p4int, yes!
AC: Unless it c4n m4ke... the p4int invisible too?

AC: 4nd oh oh oh... oh th4t's Ri4, right?
AC: Ri4's the other time... pl4yer m4ybe, but um... she s4id Ir4 w4s... 4 time pl4yer too?
AC: So w4it, um, Ir4... Ri4, Komesh, 4nd Lyn?
AC: Four time pl4yers, wow!
AC: Ri4 s4id she 4nd... Ir4 were the Theif... 4nd Rogue of Time!
AC: So um, th4t's, wow!
AC: 4nd um, oh, th4t... me4ns you could 4ll... die oh no oh... no oh no oh... no th4t's very b4d.
AC: I don't w4nt th4t... to h4ppen 4t 4ll!

AC: Well, um, this is... four of his he4ds!
AC: He s4id he w4sn't... using the one from... his de4d body, no.
AC: So now I c4n... 4lchemize more of them!
AC: Y4y, I think, yes!

You wonder if Lyn or Ria or Ira might ever have spare bodies and heads, too. You'd hate to think of skulls going to waste, even if it also meant more dead Rias, Iras, Lyns, or Komeshs. But, you assume it's okay so long as there's at least one of each of them left?

[artful_transgressor]

AT: thinking may be an oVerly generous term for what youre doing
AT: but whateVer
AT: but you haVent eVen answered my fucking question
AT: are the constant ellipses and 'i think's like your fucking quirk
AT: or does your thinkpan seriously need that much time to boot up
AT: do you legit get a progress bar that says 'processing...' eVery time you open your chitinous windhole
AT: cause thats how it sounds

AT: yeah you know what
AT: youre definitely legitimately this dense
AT: scratch my earlier questions
AT: OF COURSE I HAVE FUCKING PSIONICS
AT: how did you not pick that up earlier
AT: i pretty much said exactly that like fiVe minutes back
AT: when we were talking about the inVisible imps
AT: how fucking simple is it to put together that if my ancestor had psionics
AT: and i literally said 'hes got the same psionics i do'
AT: that i must by extension POSSESS PSIONICS
AT: i cant eVen
AT: why am i always asked to put up with this kind of shit
AT: and furthermore on the topic of things i already fucking said
AT: i said i can handle the imps just fucking fine
AT: and eVen if i needed help
AT: how could paint POSSIBLY serVe my purposes
AT: since yknow
AT: ID NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE IMPS ARE TO SPLASH THEM
AT: should i just fucking carpet bomb my planet with paint and see what magically appears
AT: does that sound feasible
AT: cause it FUCKING ISNT

AT: we could all die full stop
AT: time players or not
AT: haVe you eVen talked to your sprite at all
AT: they shouldVe filled you in on this shit
AT: also preemptiVely
AT: just putting this out there now
AT: regardless of howeVer many dead selVes i may rack up oVer the course of the game
AT: my skull is entirely off limits
AT: as is desecrating any of the rest of me
AT: its bad enough if i haVe to die in any incarnation
AT: nobodys going to collect my fucking body parts like theyre on the sickest of scaVenger hunts
AT: im not something that can be fucking disassembled
AT: this isnt a trading card game where you can collect the whole fucking set that is my body segments
AT: i am a FUCKING PERSON
AT: and eVen if i get snuffed out my body deserVes some goddamn fucking respect cause it used to be more than just a corpse you can cut up at your fucking leisure
AT: are we clear on this
AT: OFF
AT: LIMITS
AT: FOREVER

You...kind of got intense there. To the point where you surprised yourself. You didn't realize you had such strong feelings on the subject...but it's disturbing seeing Komesh's head just lying there, and even more disturbing to think of the possibility of your own death and being treated like that.

Still, it's not cool or tough to get all emotional about shit like this, so you're just going to change the subject and pretend none of that just happened.

AT: so what are you
AT: role wise

This was a completely smooth transition and no one saw a goddamn thing.

[apiarycryptonaut]

AC: Um, the ellipses 4re... yes, bec4use fours 4re... better, they re4lly 4re.
AC: 4nd um, It's better... th4t I s4y I'm... thinking sometimes, it is.
AC: Prob4bly 4nyw4y, yes, Lyn?

AC: And oh oh oh... oh yes, wow, y4y!
AC: I h4d to be... 4bsolutely cert4in 4bout th4t!
AC: 4nd um, oh, p4int!
AC: I've seen little p4int... spr4yers th4t spr4y 4... mist of p4int, 4ctu4lly!
AC: You could use th4t!
AC: I don't think imps... would re4lly expect th4t.
AC: M4ybe, 4nyw4y, prob4bly, yes.
AC: It's 4 little funny... to think 4bout, 4ctu4lly!
AC: Imps coughing in little... clouds of p4int, yes.
AC: 4nd then you c4n... pop them when they're... distr4cted 4nd coughing, m4ybe?
AC: Or just pop them... norm4lly with fighting, yes.

AC: 4nd um, my sprite... couldn't spe4k 4t 4ll... until recently, 4ctu4lly, no.
AC: It w4s 4 puzzle.
AC: So it couldn't spe4k... 4nything I understood, no.
AC: But now it's 4... rubik's l4ntern, or, oh.
AC: No w4it, um, it's.
AC: He told me to... c4ll him the "Dungeon... m4ster", I think, yes.
AC: Th4t's wh4t he w4s... before he w4s sprited.

You pause for a few moments, looking at what Lyn said, considering his words before you actually respond to his very intense reply.

AC: I c4n do th4t.
AC: Not t4ke your skull... I me4n, Lyn, yes.
AC: I promise, yes, ok4y?
AC: I p r o m i s e !

You mean it, too, and you hope that's clear. Look at that. Eight letters, altogether, a perfect match. You're sure your sincerity will show through.

AC: 4nd um, I don't... know my role yet.
AC: I h4ven't found my... consorts 4nywhere yet, no.
AC: I think they're supposed... to tell me, m4ybe.
AC: But they're hidden, m4ybe.

[artful_transgressor]

You take a few moments to stare at the sentence structure, and it takes...more seconds than you'd care to admit to realize all the words are paired in groups of four.

Then you facepalm.

AT: ugh
AT: okay so your quirk makes slightly more sense now
AT: slightly
AT: but for fucks sake cant you just like
AT: be more careful with your wording instead of all the artificial 'yes maybe perhaps' padding to fit
AT: itd look less like you haVe no idea what youre talking about
AT: but whateVer
AT: iVe giVen up passing judgment on the stupidity of other trolls quirks
AT: mostly

AT: again
AT: this assumes that one
AT: i haVe an unlimited supply of paint
AT: two
AT: i know where the imps are to spray them
AT: and three
AT: that i need help
AT: iVe been doing just fine without assistance what part of that do i need to spell out

AT: your sprite
AT: sounds like a mess
AT: eVen more so than most
AT: mines just an asshole
AT: does he at least tell you shit now

You don't know this Avispa that well, but somehow her promise seems very sincere. You've definitely got the feeling that she's a complete flake...but she seems like an earnest one. That makes you feel - slightly better about the skull thing. You guess?

Honestly you're still creeped out in general, but at least you'll never end up a severed head on her floor.

AT: okay good
AT: thanks i guess
AT: eVen though thats not really a thing i should haVe to ask most people

AT: fuck
AT: so a sprite that cant talk
AT: no show consorts
AT: and a role you dont know
AT: did you check the hardcore option when you loaded up the game or something

[apiarycryptonaut]

AC: Oh um, I c4n... try to do th4t!
AC: Would th4t be better?
AC: But um, I still... s4y everything I try... to s4y, though, yes!
AC: It's just e4sier to... do th4t in fours.

AC: 4nd oh um, ok4y!
AC: So long 4s you're... doing good 4g4inst imps!
AC: Then th4t's fine, yes!

AC: 4nd oh, yes, he... 4bsolutely is now, yes!
AC: He's very very very... very helpful 4 lot!
AC: Sometimes he's 4 little... puzzling, but th4t's good!
AC: He's 4ctu4lly 4 little... funny sometimes too, yes.

Incidentally, your sprite is actually nearby as you type that and he seems flattered. Looks like you'll be getting bonus information for the compliment!

AC: Oh, it isn't, Lyn?
AC: Then th4t's very good!
AC: Th4t me4ns I won't... h4ve to fight 4nyone... for 4ny skulls, no.
AC: I c4n 4sk for... 4ny of them 4nd... no one else will... re4lly w4nt them, no.
AC: So I 4utom4tic4lly get... 4ll the skulls, yes!
AC: Y4y y4y y4y y4y!

AC: 4nd um, oh, "h4rdcore"?
AC: The g4me h4s 4n... option like th4t, m4ybe?
AC: I didn't know th4t!
AC: But um, wow, m4ybe!
AC: If th4t expl4ins things!

[artful_transgressor]

You're...kind of taken aback. You normally dispense advice and criticism quite freely, but very few trolls actually take it to heart like this. It's kind of weird and unsettling. You've discovered the superpower of your words actually mattering and, as usually happens when moments like these strike you, you're not ready for the responsibility.

AT: hey do whateVer the fuck you want
AT: its not like i actually care that much

Yeah you totally smoothed that over. No one will ever suspect.

AT: so whats he told you anyway
AT: i mean if he hasnt eVen filled you in on your class and aspect and how that shit works
AT: what wisdom has he been spouting into your sponge clots

You stare at the screen for a few seconds, debating pushing more on the whole skull issue...but you reluctantly decide against it. You've got less authority to try and tell her what she's allowed to do with other people's heads as opposed to your own - assuming she ever gets a chance at your own to begin with, which you fervently hope won't be the case - and, more to the point, you don't want to publicly air out any more sentiments on the subject. People might, god forbid, think you're soft.

AT: no i dont think theres actual difficulty settings in this game
AT: or if theyre are im pretty sure were all stuck on the default of 'lunatic'
AT: it was a figure of speech
AT: cause you actually seem to haVe it eVen more shitty and complex than the rest of us

[apiarycryptonaut]

AC: Oh um, ok4y, Lyn!
AC: If you s4y so!

AC: 4nd oh, um, the... dungeon m4ster sprite didn't... s4y much ex4ctly, no.
AC: Unless we're solving 4... puzzle, then he's very... very very very helpful!
AC: He likes to t4lk... 4t just the right... moments, I think, yes.
AC: Inste4d of being distr4cting!
AC: It lets me focus!
AC: But um, he doesn't... know my cl4ss or... 4spect either, I think.
AC: He s4ys my consorts... 4re the ones who... know 4bout th4t, m4ybe.

Like right now, for example, he's floating over your pile of puzzles seemingly pondering which would be most useful. Or he's asleep. He doesn't have physical eyes, so you can't ever really tell.

AC: 4nd oh, um, re4lly?
AC: Then I think I'm... doing re4lly well, yes!
AC: Especi4lly bec4use I'm not... de4d yet, I think.
AC: I like things th4t... 4re more complex, yes.
AC: So 4 more complex... g4me experience is good!
AC: I c4n't w4it to... 4ctu4lly solve it, 4bsolutely!
AC: The g4me sounds even... more fun, now, yes!

[artful_transgressor]

not being a dead is always a sign of at least minor success
one which becomes progressiVely more impressiVe based on circumstances
but yeah okay id say youre at least due a pat on the back for liVing so far
thing is though
its not a flat point bonus you get
theres no 'i liVed' achieVement
its a score multiplier
the longer you go the more you get out of it

You're not quite sure what that tangent was, but whatever, you'll let it stand. Lots of good gaming metaphors in it.

anyway
if you like puzzles and thats what all your shits geared towards
including your sprite
and the games throwing tons of puzzles at you
then congrats for getting exactly what you want out of this i guess?
dunno how you swung it but hey
whateVer works

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh, then um, doesn't... th4t me4n we're 4ll... going to get the... highest scores, I think?
Bec4use we're 4ll going... to win, 4bsolutely, yes!
With the highest multipliers!

4nd oh, yes, y4y!
I'm h4ppy to be... surrounded by puzzles, yes!
Lucky me, I think?
Yes, lucky me, y4y!
I love puzzles, yes!