[S] Zurahe: Freak The Fuck Out

[soundtricks]

-- CURRENT blackoutEtude [BE] RIGHT NOW opened memo WHAT THE FUCK♫♪. --

Your name is ZURAHE CADENS, and once again you've chosen to make a VIDEO MEMO rather than a TEXT one. However, taking into account the situation at hand, you feel as if you are HIGHLY JUSTIFIED in doing so. After all, it's not every day a CHUNK OF OCEAN replaces a part of the planet you'd been headed toward, and remains, to your relief, more or less SELF-CONTAINED. You're not sure what you'd do if it started flooding- you hate deep water and just about everything having to do with it. It's a lucky thing for you that the water doesn't seem to be going anywhere. YET.

You're not sure whether you're more ENRAGEDd or TERRIFIED by this phenomenon, so naturally you choose to display the latter, expression twisting into a snarl. You turn on and pan the camera of one of your spare computers around, and make sure the mic to your A.V.E.S. is turned off before you actually 'speak'.




So. Who wants to fucking tell me. Just what the actual fresh fuckin' HELL I'm looking at here?

Because from what I can tell, it looks like there's a fuckload of ocean sitting in the middle of my goddamn planet and it ain't supposed to be-- Princess, I'm lookin' at you.


Now. Can someone tell me how to get all this bulgesucking water off my PLANET?!

Comments

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh, yes I 4m!
Ok4y, so um, then... yes, I 4m, Zur4he!
I'm "fucking 4round" with... 4ll these skulls, y4y!

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...weirdo
whatever, have fun I guess
don't waste grist on anything too stupid

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh, I will, yes!
4nd um, I won't... w4ste grist, 4bsolutely not.
Everything I'll m4ke h4s... 4 re4son 4nd pl4n!

[soundtricks]

is that right♫
what's the point of all this, then♫

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh, this h4s two... points to it 4ctu4lly!
First is 4lchemizing my... first skull 4rmor set!
To le4rn how to... m4ke 4 better set!
So I won't die!
4nd second is using... the re4lly re4lly re4lly... re4lly strong, sh4rp horns!
4s we4pons, I think!
4nd oh oh oh... oh 4lso trying to... m4ke new skulls, yes!
New skulls out of... existing skulls, I think?

[soundtricks]

okay, I get one and two, and I will admit that bone armor sounds pretty hardcore
but
how are you gonna make other skulls out of the ones you have♫
that doesn't make any sense

[apiarycryptonaut]

I think the fourth... skull 4rmor will be... the best version, m4ybe!
The first three will... build up to th4t!
One 4t 4 time!
4nd oh, um, skulls!
If I combine something... I h4ve 4lre4dy 4nd... try the s4me m4teri4l...
I c4n get 4... bone or skull sh4ped... item, I think, yes!
I m4de 4 bone... gren4de, but it didn't... become 4 skull, no.
But I keep trying!

[soundtricks]

what is it with the fours, I swear♫
but sure, whatever
good luck making more skulls and not just
skull-shaped stuff, I guess♫

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh, th4nk you, Zur4he!
I'll definitely show you... when I succeed, yes!
Or um, m4ybe, if... you w4nt me to?

[soundtricks]

yeah, sure
whatever, I guess

[apiarycryptonaut]

Ok4y, then I will!
I 4bsolutely will, yes!

[soundtricks]

you'll probably have better luck than me

[apiarycryptonaut]

I'll 4lchemize things for... you too, Zur4he, yes!
I will, I promise!
You'll like them, yes!

[soundtricks]

what really♫
but why♫

[apiarycryptonaut]

Is th4t surprising, to... do, m4ybe, I think?
I don't think it's... th4t surprising, re4lly, no.
But, wh4t do you... me4n "why", Zur4he, um?
It's obvious why, yes!

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it's not obvious to me
otherwise I wouldn't be asking, would I♫

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh, oh um, ok4y... th4t m4kes sense, m4ybe!
4nd oh, um, expl4ining!
Bec4use um, wouldn't it... be str4nge if I... didn't 4t 4ll, um?
You've helped me 4... lot Zur4he, yes, 4bsolutely!
So I w4nt to... help you too, yes!
Th4t's the simple 4nswer!

[soundtricks]

...yeah
you're definitely weird

but do what you want, I guess

[apiarycryptonaut]

Weird 4nd going to... 4lchemize you things, yes!
It's simple, I think!
I get to help... you too, soon, yes!
Um, I c4n pick... on my own but.
Is there 4nything th4t... I should try first?
Something especi4lly import4nt, m4ybe?

[soundtricks]

not that I can think of really
you already made weapons, right♫

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh, yes, I did!
I m4de we4pons, yes!
Did you w4nt some... of the we4pons m4ybe?
Or um, I c4n... 4lchemize 4 puzzle for... you to use on... others, m4ybe, I think?
You wouldn't h4ve to... solve it, no, um!
But 4nyone you shoot... with it would h4ve... to solve it, yes!

[soundtricks]

nah, I'm good on weapons at the moment
maybe later, if I get too lazy to just punch shit
or less lazy♫
honestly, not sure which applies at the moment


and god no
I am shit at puzzles
and with my luck I'd wind up shooting myself with it somehow

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh, um, ok4y, um.
I c4n try to... think of something, then!
I'll think c4refully, 4bsolutely!

4nd oh oh oh... oh, but if th4t... h4ppened then, um, I... could help you, yes!
I could help you... get out of it!
But um, no one... would be 4ble to... get you in there.
So you would be... re4lly s4fe, yes, 4bsolutely!

[soundtricks]

you do that
in the meantime, I'll be earning more grist, I guess
can't make anything without it


nah, maybe later
or if I get a chance to work on my puzzle skills

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh, yes ex4ctly, yes!
I'm s4ving up ur4nium... grist, 4ctu4lly, I 4m!
I need 4 lot... of it, yes, 4bsolutely!
Soon, m4ybe, I'll h4ve... enough to use, yes!

Oh, um, ok4y, Zur4he!
I c4n help you... with puzzles 4ny time... though, 4bsolutely, I c4n!
4ny time, re4lly, yes!