==> Shea: Act outside your aspect & get to the bottom of this trainwreck

[ataraxicarcher]

You are now SHEA LISTER again after a long due POV hiatus of sorts. You're currently exploring your planet - as you have come to learn is known as the LAND OF PEAKS AND SHADOWS. It's pretty neat. A little weird with all the mountains and the fact that the time of day never changes but whatever.


But god almighty, if you weren't actually pretty fit, the elevation would kill you. Metaphorically. Unless you fell down the wrong way. Though your consorts, the CHAMELEONS, have been doing a good job keeping you on the right paths. They're pretty chill little dudes. Well, once you found them. They sort of have a habit of blending in with their surroundings. Usually. You don't understand half the things they're rambling about right now, but you're sure eventually you might.

Also on the other news front it's been pretty fucking ridiculous as of recently. What with knowing there's another session and a session full of sort of crazy aliens at that, you wonder how your own session's players are doing. You decide to take a break from your explorations. Well that and you realize you haven't checked in for a bit. And who knows what kind of "fun" you missed out on.




-- ataraxicArcher [AA] has signed on. --

You pause before you make a memo. Oh what the hell, you have no fucking clue who's an alien or who's human anymore, lets just make it a fucking party. You invite fucking everyone to the memo.

-- ataraxicArcher [AA] has opened memo session number congaline clusterfuck--
anyhow, thought id do a sup with you all cause like all truly great thoughts are conceived by walking as Nietzsche said and well shit i was taking a walk so this was a fucking ill thought.
so i guess screaming orange-skinned frizzy-haired lunatics on the history channel can be right once in a fucking while. /itwasaliensyouwin /eventhoughyoureprobablydead
and woah has shit been weird i mean we're playing along with aliens /nooffensebutyouare welcome aliens or some shit. we come in peace. /whatever
id do like some sort of are you human headcount like they do in the Thing but that's probably moot and useless unless you fucks are like facehuggers trying to implant your eggs into us humans via esophageal insemination /sortofgross
anyway sup bitches? you better all be fucking alive. everyone in my game at least. i mean i guess you aliens or whatever are ok too but like my session has a little more relevance to me, cool?
also wtf Lils i think your planet's been like trying to assimilate with mine like the borg or something, i am finding like giant fucking science flasks and shit like that on my planet. anyone else getting that weird as fuck shit?
oh yeah anyone get any good deets from their little fucking animal companions recently?
well shit i cant think of anything else relevant that someone elses' memo hasnt like hit on already. itd be like hearing from E! right after TMZ broke the news first or whatever. this has been Shea Lister from the planet LOPAS station checking in like a boss though so let me hear from you crazy fucks/soiknowyourenotdead

Comments

[ataraxicarcher]

thats good, man. i guess we've got to come to terms with shit on the accelerated bullet train track considering this fucking game, right?

awesome on getting stronger but hey mister hero, it's like..well it was before the game, the 21st century and shit. you dont have to play the knight swooping in. we're all getting stronger to help each other out, dude /howsthatfortropesubversion

[ataraxicarcher]

no, i really dont need anymore troll Texas Chainsaw Massacre images all over my computer

omg excuse me for not knowing what you guys were called. its not like i have a hitchhikers guide of alien races

[ataraxicarcher]

okay, first thats great that you dont want to face-fuck to spread your progeny or whatever. but are all those fucking ~ necessary? because wow i didn't think you could sound condescending on the internet until this very moment

second gonna go out on a limb and say youre probably one of those trolls. /iamSherlock

...human reproductive cycles? refined and noble? sure.

... ... You try to resist the urge to disseminate hideously false information about the human reproductive cycle to the alien.

i mean i guess it would. its a nine-month application process that totes has to do with the birds and the bees and shit. and a majestic stork too.

You fail at it miserably.

Then again, you weren't really trying that hard at all.

[apiarycryptonaut]

You choose to ignore the chainsaw comment.

You know now, yes.
Th4t's wh4t is import4nt.

[twintimes]

yeAh defInItely go for It
I meAn I Am not reAlly sure how A flAmethrower bow would work
but I'm sure you cAn fIgure somethIng out
I meAn I mAde A dIAmon shIeld
..It's very sAdly ImprActIcAl becAuse It's so heAvy but It wAs stIll A cool IdeA At the tIme!!

I'd belIeve It
..both the InfectIousness And the mIgrAIne

[celestialcavalier]

Does that mean we have to get you a cauldron and a black cat?
I'm sure you can repurpose a bathtub.

Why did you look at the pictures?
Completely reevaluating my opinion of you now.

I think mine might be "heir".
It's pretty much the only consistent thing the damn snakes are saying.

[polygraphing]

zhit yeah i am
here ok i kan totaly prove it
tel me three liez and a truth
or three truthz and a lie
whichever you feel like
ill tel you which iz which itll be awezome

huh damn
thatz more than i thought
i zhould take a pol and zee how many we got left
dont wana get outnumbered

every handwave

[elaphaea]

( i suppose the fact that we are... "aliens" to you... )
( would explain quite a lot... about our conversational difficulties, earlier... )

Handwave lyfe \o\

[ataraxicarcher]

omg that would totes explain that whole Hunger Games mix up and all those other things /suddenlyitallmakessense

[ataraxicarcher]

You crack your knuckles. You are going to skeptic the shit out of this.

ok lets try this shit out. three truths and a lie. give me a sec to figure out shit to say though.
i need to think of some good ones because it proves jackshit if they're all statements that are totally fucking obvious.

so numero uno. i have like mad archery skills.
round two. and im keeping this shit easy. before this game started, my house was in New York. You don't need to know geography, right? or is it just like you just know or shit. anyway.
three is i fucking think sloths are awesome
last one is in this session im the witch of time

those work?

Okay. It was actually two lies (your aspect and where you used to live) and two truths (archery and sloths), but you figure that if the troll's bullshitting you, you'll be able to pick it up fast.

why does it gotta be some sort of competition with the player count? its nbd i mean we're separate sessions anyway, right?

[ataraxicarcher]

shit i dont know either but it would probably be fucking wicked.

maybe you can... like roll the shield on an imp or something.

i am the chameleon whisperer

[ataraxicarcher]

double double toil and trouble motherfuckers

fruitloop sent it to me in one batch and shit, it was like fucking classic carwreck syndrome, i couldn't fucking look away at the messed up spectacle. its like watching like fucking Saw or something

makes sense i mean if they're not shutting up about it signs point to yes, you are the heir. it is you. at least thats what i've figured at this point.

[polygraphing]

thoze totaly work
letz zee
the archery thing iz true
do you wana be an archeradikator or zomething
wait do humanz even have thoze
and yeah i got no idea what new york iz but
that partz a lie
zlothz are alzo a myztery but itz true you think theyre awezome
lazt part iz kinda tricky but
zoundz like you are a witch but not a voidy one
zo you aktualy told me two truthz and two liez
ooh zneaky
but zee i told you
my power iz zuper kool

wel even if were zeparate zezionz
we kan ztil talk to each other
zo maybe were not az zeparate az we zeem
never know with thiz fukcing game

[twintimes]

I could probAbly do thAt
or lIke
stArt An AvAlAnche wIth It
but I don't wAnnA breAk too much of my lAnd so mAybe not thAt

hehe you thInk you could get the chAmeleons to hIde you from vIew??
lIvIng cAmouflAge just for you
It'd be cool, rIght?

[artful_transgressor]

names lyn
and youre shea?

and yeah i get around the memos
or at least i haVe been recently
was kinda checked out for awhile
now im back
to no ones great delight

dude
V definitely a dude
what about you
also god chest burster
does your species always make this good of a first impression
full of screaming body horror
by which i mean i know it doesnt iVe already talked to seVeral humans why are you making this a thing

[callouslystalwart]

Of course they are. ~~CS

Why wouldn't they be? You see absolutely no problems with your ELEGANTILDES.

You do, on the other hand, see a problem with this discussion. You're willing to believe a lot of things, current situation with the game and all, but this just sounds stupid.

Pailing, on the other hand, makes PERFECT SENSE and is totally believable.

That sounds absolutely dreadful. ~~CS
Not even to mention that laughably limited variety of lusii... ~~CS
~I~ take it that it's still mandatory, however, so you do what you must, ~I~ suppose. ~~CS

[ataraxicarcher]

cool glad your name wasnt like someone smashed a keyboard while having a seizure like Mxyzptlk or shit like that. yeah pretty sure im the Shea you're looking for /aintnodroidsaroundhere

well dont blame you because fuck all it was the end of the world. /worlds? gotta be loose ends and shit to take care of /likenotdying
you're not the last person who went to fuck-offs-ville for awhile

no one's great delight? man you are a bundle of sunshine in a bottle. i haven't talked to you for more than like a few messages give me a few more paragraphs before i shun you or whatever /orslaparedletteronyou

i guess if you guys are like divided into chicks and dicks like humans, im a chick. this isnt gonna turn into some weird a/s/l shit is it? just checking.

look, it is in the interest of inter-species relations or diplomacy or whatever. like if i meet one of you guys or something i dont want to cause some like fucking incident because how the fuck was i supposed to know you have tentacle dicks at the back of your head or something /protip:humansdonthaveone your body horror could be like nbd for us. though it totes looks like we're on the same wavelength on weird shit that aint right so i think we can put the kibosh on that train of thought

[ataraxicarcher]

so there's two species or whatever playing the game and you're trolls and we're humans. now that we have that shit established i guess you can carry on with your continued wtferies

[apiarycryptonaut]

I don't know wh4t... wtferies 4re, but, um.
Bec4use you know, th4t's... 4ll I w4nted to... s4y to you, me4nie.

[ataraxicarcher]

okay i am pretty impressed. /thatshitisdifficult so like can you tell lies and shit from like everyone?

guess so, well shit we're talking cross-sesson right now. itd be pretty weird as fuck having the two games do some like crossovering shit though but who knows right?

[ataraxicarcher]

use it like some sort of crazy bejeweled sled then?

that sounds like a pretty cool idea. if it works i get like a cloak of lizards or something. if not i just look like some tool with lizards hanging off them. /thisneedsfurtherinvestigation

[ataraxicarcher]

...ok. gonna chalk it up to some weird as fuck troll thing

oh hell no, it's like so fucking classy and elegant it puts high tea with the queen to fucking shame. what the fuck is a lusii? animals you mean?

mandatory? as if. people shag if they want to and if they dont thats cool too

[callouslystalwart]

Really now? ~~CS
Well obviously procreation is required for a species to continue in the first place, but... ~~CS
You're saying that it isn't enforced? ~~CS
Tell ~me~ more! ~~CS

[artful_transgressor]

all troll names are six letters
so it couldnt be anything like that

and yeah
dont think im the only one who kinda checked out
but i seem to get bitched at more than most for not haVing a handle on eVerything thats happening so who eVen knows

and i dont generally get along with people well
it was neVer a big skill of mine
which was fine on alternia but im kinda haVing to change up my game here
belatedly
and its not going that smoothly
so out of eVeryone in the medium across all sessions
about half arent communicating with anybody really
and of the other half fifty percent dont like me and are just generally disagreeable
while forty percent are friendly but completely unhelpful
and nine percent dont actually know me yet
which leaVes me with one percent of people i actually haVe productiVe conVersations with

wow no
im just gonna assume thats a weird human sex thing and no fucking way
eVen if i was looking to hook up with anyone
no offense but i dunno if id be looking to species jump

uh
trying to think of a way to phrase 'theyre not on the backs of our heads' that doesnt sound immediately horrifying if you dont already know what im talking about
maybe we should just not talk about dicks or bulges or anything in that Vein

[ataraxicarcher]

what? ok making it mandatory or whatever sounds pretty fucked up but idk how to explain this whole youre not forced to shag thing except its exactly what it sounds like. and i guess there's the whole you dont need to make babies and shit.

this is the weirdest fucking cultural exchange ever.