==> Shea: Act outside your aspect & get to the bottom of this trainwreck

[ataraxicarcher]

You are now SHEA LISTER again after a long due POV hiatus of sorts. You're currently exploring your planet - as you have come to learn is known as the LAND OF PEAKS AND SHADOWS. It's pretty neat. A little weird with all the mountains and the fact that the time of day never changes but whatever.


But god almighty, if you weren't actually pretty fit, the elevation would kill you. Metaphorically. Unless you fell down the wrong way. Though your consorts, the CHAMELEONS, have been doing a good job keeping you on the right paths. They're pretty chill little dudes. Well, once you found them. They sort of have a habit of blending in with their surroundings. Usually. You don't understand half the things they're rambling about right now, but you're sure eventually you might.

Also on the other news front it's been pretty fucking ridiculous as of recently. What with knowing there's another session and a session full of sort of crazy aliens at that, you wonder how your own session's players are doing. You decide to take a break from your explorations. Well that and you realize you haven't checked in for a bit. And who knows what kind of "fun" you missed out on.




-- ataraxicArcher [AA] has signed on. --

You pause before you make a memo. Oh what the hell, you have no fucking clue who's an alien or who's human anymore, lets just make it a fucking party. You invite fucking everyone to the memo.

-- ataraxicArcher [AA] has opened memo session number congaline clusterfuck--
anyhow, thought id do a sup with you all cause like all truly great thoughts are conceived by walking as Nietzsche said and well shit i was taking a walk so this was a fucking ill thought.
so i guess screaming orange-skinned frizzy-haired lunatics on the history channel can be right once in a fucking while. /itwasaliensyouwin /eventhoughyoureprobablydead
and woah has shit been weird i mean we're playing along with aliens /nooffensebutyouare welcome aliens or some shit. we come in peace. /whatever
id do like some sort of are you human headcount like they do in the Thing but that's probably moot and useless unless you fucks are like facehuggers trying to implant your eggs into us humans via esophageal insemination /sortofgross
anyway sup bitches? you better all be fucking alive. everyone in my game at least. i mean i guess you aliens or whatever are ok too but like my session has a little more relevance to me, cool?
also wtf Lils i think your planet's been like trying to assimilate with mine like the borg or something, i am finding like giant fucking science flasks and shit like that on my planet. anyone else getting that weird as fuck shit?
oh yeah anyone get any good deets from their little fucking animal companions recently?
well shit i cant think of anything else relevant that someone elses' memo hasnt like hit on already. itd be like hearing from E! right after TMZ broke the news first or whatever. this has been Shea Lister from the planet LOPAS station checking in like a boss though so let me hear from you crazy fucks/soiknowyourenotdead

Comments

[ataraxicarcher]

someone give this person a Keanu macro because holy shit that is like some fucking startling Enemy Mine level revelation and more crazy than an M. Night Shyamalan movie-twist /wellitwasalldownhillaftertheSixthSense so what the fuck do i call you if alien is too general

appreciate the alien check in though...you.. alien person. well fuck i mustve added your sn from one of the fucking bazillion memos /theyrelikerabbits /itkeepshappening

its not a thing humans do, dude/dudette/whatever. if its something that even disgusts your foreign alien sensibilities without me having to explain then shit's cool. that means it is a universal constant and i for one am relieved that no one is going to have a chest burster anytime soon /wedonthaveaRipleyanyway

[artful_transgressor]

names lyn
and youre shea?

and yeah i get around the memos
or at least i haVe been recently
was kinda checked out for awhile
now im back
to no ones great delight

dude
V definitely a dude
what about you
also god chest burster
does your species always make this good of a first impression
full of screaming body horror
by which i mean i know it doesnt iVe already talked to seVeral humans why are you making this a thing

[ataraxicarcher]

cool glad your name wasnt like someone smashed a keyboard while having a seizure like Mxyzptlk or shit like that. yeah pretty sure im the Shea you're looking for /aintnodroidsaroundhere

well dont blame you because fuck all it was the end of the world. /worlds? gotta be loose ends and shit to take care of /likenotdying
you're not the last person who went to fuck-offs-ville for awhile

no one's great delight? man you are a bundle of sunshine in a bottle. i haven't talked to you for more than like a few messages give me a few more paragraphs before i shun you or whatever /orslaparedletteronyou

i guess if you guys are like divided into chicks and dicks like humans, im a chick. this isnt gonna turn into some weird a/s/l shit is it? just checking.

look, it is in the interest of inter-species relations or diplomacy or whatever. like if i meet one of you guys or something i dont want to cause some like fucking incident because how the fuck was i supposed to know you have tentacle dicks at the back of your head or something /protip:humansdonthaveone your body horror could be like nbd for us. though it totes looks like we're on the same wavelength on weird shit that aint right so i think we can put the kibosh on that train of thought

[artful_transgressor]

all troll names are six letters
so it couldnt be anything like that

and yeah
dont think im the only one who kinda checked out
but i seem to get bitched at more than most for not haVing a handle on eVerything thats happening so who eVen knows

and i dont generally get along with people well
it was neVer a big skill of mine
which was fine on alternia but im kinda haVing to change up my game here
belatedly
and its not going that smoothly
so out of eVeryone in the medium across all sessions
about half arent communicating with anybody really
and of the other half fifty percent dont like me and are just generally disagreeable
while forty percent are friendly but completely unhelpful
and nine percent dont actually know me yet
which leaVes me with one percent of people i actually haVe productiVe conVersations with

wow no
im just gonna assume thats a weird human sex thing and no fucking way
eVen if i was looking to hook up with anyone
no offense but i dunno if id be looking to species jump

uh
trying to think of a way to phrase 'theyre not on the backs of our heads' that doesnt sound immediately horrifying if you dont already know what im talking about
maybe we should just not talk about dicks or bulges or anything in that Vein

[ataraxicarcher]

it has to be six letters? that's pretty weird, ngl. so is Lyn a nickname or something? /unlessyou'rebullshittingmeonthissixletterthing

eh you seem sane /sofar /definitelycomparedtosomeofyoursessionmates sounds like your session is a right old clusterfuck i guess in my session it's more of a brb grist grinding/afk gonna go croak than brb i hate you/who are you/what am i doing

oh hell to the no i'm not trying to get some interstellar booty. /iamnotthatkindoflady drawing the line of cultural exchange at rambling over the internet..thing /doesthisevencountastheinternetstill? /xenophiliaisnotmybag the asl thing is like a sketchy person on the internet litmus test. if they're like "age/sex/location?" just back the fuck away. or maybe thats like a human internet thing. stranger danger and shit like that

i think it is too lat--

what. bulges. Jesus Christ in a fucking handbasket this is conversation is going to places it was never meant to go /liketwogirlsonecupplaces i think that portion should be stricken from the records

[artful_transgressor]

yeah it is
but its all youre getting
iVe got my reasons

not eVen gonna argue that im not pretty much the sanest troll iVe eVer talked to
cause i definitely am
im just not particularly likable
eVen among my own species and were not known for being kind and cuddly

hunh
yeah trolls dont really do that
i mean like
age and sex sure i guess if that matters to you
but any troll who just handed out their location on demand would be fucking crazy

hey fine with me
i dont know what humans haVe going on and frankly i dont wanna know
as for trolls i dunno why youd eVer need to know
i only mentioned it cause you brought it up
in the interest of full disclosure

[ataraxicarcher]

alright its cool, man dont need to get defensive bout it just wondering

yeah... you guys dont exactly look kind and cuddly from all the pictures and shit i have seen. i mean seriously, your compadres really like this whole webcam everything shit. /trollyoutube? eh you seem alright, like i said almost every other troll ive talked to has the whole leetspeak shit that is a pain to read or seems sort of crazy. like twitchy kids lets leave the mumbling person alone crazy. /likethatpuzzleone

that sort of was like here. when Earth was still a thing. just more there's a lot of creepy pervos on the internet thing. /well,were so unless you lived in a huge ass city it was like a trust exercise to say hey heres my address you mofos

it has been totes wiped away from my grey matter out of sight out of mind

[artful_transgressor]

just cause our names are all six letters doesnt mean we always go by the full things
although it does tend to be the standard i guess

yeah i dunno why they wanna show off like that
personally i dont want anyone to haVe my picture to put next to my name on their hit list
but at least youVe got an idea what we look like i guess
anyway im usually too busy and doing too much shit for one of the really inVolVed quirks
i mean i deVeloped mine pretty late in life since i didnt eVen get a husktop until i was like six sweeps old
so i guess i had the benefit of haVing better judgment than most trolls do when they lock themselVes into a quirk
but i was like 'fuck no i dont want something thats gonna make typing a massiVe chore'
and i went with low key

puzzle one?
you mean aVispa?
what the fuck am i saying of course you mean aVispa
bitch loVes puzzles

so do humans cull each other a lot too

i seem to haVe mysteriously forgotten what you were referring to

[ataraxicarcher]

fair enough. dunno when Earth was a thing, anything went with names and people would name their kids all sorts of crazy shit. i knew a chick in my class named apple. /shitsnotright

grey and funky horns. tbh i think you guys could pass for humans in costume maybe. what i thought at first when the first one of you guys webcam'd this shit up

man why would you want to subject yourself to such involved typing shit? low key, you mean the thing with the vs?

yeah Avispa or whatever. types in green, uses 4 all the fucking time? /alsolikes"..." ok get on the level with me, are other trolls that weird or is she the exception to the rule.

what? no. it was just common sense not to tell anyone your hometown at first because you don't know what their intention was. we dont do any of that culling shit. maybe when we like first emerged from the caves or whatever during the course that is evolution we did a lot of killing the fuck out of other people but not anymore. i mean i guess if there's a war or the death penalty or whatever because you killed someone, but for the most part people go to jail. /donotcollect200donotpassgo

wait. so.. they killed people on your planet? like for no reason or what?

[artful_transgressor]

wow yeah thats kinda dumb
trolls just generally name themselVes when were old enough
i mean its not like our lusii can talk
although honestly iVe neVer giVen it that much thought
i mean i know thats how i did it
maybe its different with other trolls?
iVe neVer actually asked

and you guys are just pink and without horns right

yeah
theyre supposed to represent my symbol
its not totally similar but close enough
anyway i dunno why some trolls go for quirks that are just huge pains in the nook
i guess theyre okay with it?
but like i said theyre a way of expressing indiViduality
i mean how else would we do it
fashion?

no she is seriously weird eVen by trolls standards
honestly a lot of people in the sessions are not exactly what youd call typical trolls
we seem to be the kind of ragtag bunch of misfits that would be guaranteed to come out on top in a moVie
like in 'in which a ragtag bunch of misfits seek a pirate treasure in hopes of saVing their lawnring from being bought out by highbloods while being pursued by a criminal gang'
the closest to being what could be considered your aVerage troll is probably zurahe

well there were plenty of reasons for trolls to kill other trolls
like 'they looked at me funny'
or 'theyre lower caste'
or 'theyre weaker and i can'
or 'im bored'
theres always A reason
just not necessarily GOOD ones
but fuck yes killing was pretty standard on alternia
fuck you didnt eVen get old enough to pupate if you didnt make it past your trials after you were hatched
you didnt eVen get a lusus until you made it that far
and any trolls who dont haVe a lusus or lose theirs before adulthood are culled too
are you seeing a pattern