[S] Zurahe: Freak The Fuck Out

[soundtricks]

-- CURRENT blackoutEtude [BE] RIGHT NOW opened memo WHAT THE FUCK♫♪. --

Your name is ZURAHE CADENS, and once again you've chosen to make a VIDEO MEMO rather than a TEXT one. However, taking into account the situation at hand, you feel as if you are HIGHLY JUSTIFIED in doing so. After all, it's not every day a CHUNK OF OCEAN replaces a part of the planet you'd been headed toward, and remains, to your relief, more or less SELF-CONTAINED. You're not sure what you'd do if it started flooding- you hate deep water and just about everything having to do with it. It's a lucky thing for you that the water doesn't seem to be going anywhere. YET.

You're not sure whether you're more ENRAGEDd or TERRIFIED by this phenomenon, so naturally you choose to display the latter, expression twisting into a snarl. You turn on and pan the camera of one of your spare computers around, and make sure the mic to your A.V.E.S. is turned off before you actually 'speak'.




So. Who wants to fucking tell me. Just what the actual fresh fuckin' HELL I'm looking at here?

Because from what I can tell, it looks like there's a fuckload of ocean sitting in the middle of my goddamn planet and it ain't supposed to be-- Princess, I'm lookin' at you.


Now. Can someone tell me how to get all this bulgesucking water off my PLANET?!

Comments

[soundtricks]

oh my fuck
'imp slaying for fun, profit and skull harvesting', a video guide by Avispa Kusbir, age 7

if that's what it takes for some trolls around here to start killing imps
I may literally laugh myself into a mild coma

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh um, but m4ybe!
M4ybe it could help?
We won't know if... we don't do it!
Or um, if I... don't do it, no.
So I'll do it!

[soundtricks]

welp
this outta be both hilarious and highly worrying

[apiarycryptonaut]

I think the first... one more th4n the... second one, prob4bly, yes!
I don't think there's... 4ny re4son to fe4r!

[soundtricks]

if you say so, space cadet
just make sure you don't get distracted by the camera fighting imps, ok♫

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh, yes, ok4y, Zur4he!
4nd th4t's e4sy, yes!
I don't even notice... the c4mer4 sometimes, m4ybe.
I forgot it once... too 4ctu4lly, oh no.

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oh my god, are you serious
honestly, Kusbir, you're fucking ridiculous I swear

[apiarycryptonaut]

I 4lchemized 4 c4mer4... into 4 rock so... it would be s4fe!
4nd so it wouldn't... get broken 4t 4ll!
But th4t m4kes it... e4sy to forget sometimes.

[soundtricks]

oh my god
I'm fuckin' dying here
you alchemized a camera into a rock-
what, do you keep forgetting which one it is or something♫

[apiarycryptonaut]

Yes I did, Zur4he!
4nd um, oh, it's... bec4use I put it... on top of 4... pile of other rocks.
It blended in 4nd... I forgot I w4s... trying to record, m4ybe.
But I went b4ck... 4nd got it, yes!

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oh my god
that's fucking priceless
sweet merciful tapdancing fuck, Kusbir that shit's hilarious

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh um, it is?
Um, w4it, re4lly, huh?
Did you w4nt 4... c4mer4 rock too, Zur4he?

[soundtricks]

nah, I'd probably just break it by accident instead of losing it
or something dumb like that, anyway

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh um, then, you'll... need 4 re4lly strong... c4mer4 rock, or 4... met4l one m4ybe, yes!
One th4t 4bsolutely won't... bre4k, those exist, yes.
Th4t could work, m4ybe?

[soundtricks]

I dunno
haven't really come across anything I couldn't break
given enough time to figure out how hard it needs to be punched
probably shouldn't waste your time on that though
you could be making other shit
important shit, even

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh oh oh oh.
Um ok4y no th4t... m4kes sense you're right!
I should m4ke things... th4t 4re useful, yes.
Not things to test... if you c4n bre4k... them eventu4lly m4ybe, yes.
So um, I'll think... 4nd decide on things... to 4lchemize 4nd use!
Useful, helpful things, yes!

[soundtricks]

exactly
though I guess if you want to make them hard to break so you don't have to make more
that works too, or whatever

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh yes, 4bsolutely, yes!
So I only h4ve... to m4ke them once!
4nd they c4n be... used forever, I think.
Bec4use they won't bre4k!

[soundtricks]

see, there you go
catching on already

[apiarycryptonaut]

Yes, I 4m, y4y!
One thing 4t 4... time, I think, m4ybe!
I c4n't w4it, y4y!
4nd I c4n 4lchemize... 4nything I w4nt, yes!
4ll the useful things!

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so many useful things, really
maybe even possibly ~all of them~
who knows♫

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh yes, m4ybe, yes!
But I c4n't 4lchemize... 4ll of them, no.
But I c4n try!
I'll st4rt with the... import4nt ones first, m4ybe.
4nd work my w4y... down from there, yes!
Th4t seems best, 4bsolutely!

[soundtricks]

yeah, probably the best idea, really
so
what are you gonna start with♫

[apiarycryptonaut]

Um, I think I'm... st4rting with Komesh's he4d!
Or um, his skull!

[soundtricks]

what