[S] Zurahe: Freak The Fuck Out

[soundtricks]

-- CURRENT blackoutEtude [BE] RIGHT NOW opened memo WHAT THE FUCK♫♪. --

Your name is ZURAHE CADENS, and once again you've chosen to make a VIDEO MEMO rather than a TEXT one. However, taking into account the situation at hand, you feel as if you are HIGHLY JUSTIFIED in doing so. After all, it's not every day a CHUNK OF OCEAN replaces a part of the planet you'd been headed toward, and remains, to your relief, more or less SELF-CONTAINED. You're not sure what you'd do if it started flooding- you hate deep water and just about everything having to do with it. It's a lucky thing for you that the water doesn't seem to be going anywhere. YET.

You're not sure whether you're more ENRAGEDd or TERRIFIED by this phenomenon, so naturally you choose to display the latter, expression twisting into a snarl. You turn on and pan the camera of one of your spare computers around, and make sure the mic to your A.V.E.S. is turned off before you actually 'speak'.




So. Who wants to fucking tell me. Just what the actual fresh fuckin' HELL I'm looking at here?

Because from what I can tell, it looks like there's a fuckload of ocean sitting in the middle of my goddamn planet and it ain't supposed to be-- Princess, I'm lookin' at you.


Now. Can someone tell me how to get all this bulgesucking water off my PLANET?!

Comments

[soundtricks]

just cause it's ice now doesn't mean it was never water
besides I'm pretty sure it didn't freeze entirely
just the outsides not all the way through
so now its just water sitting inside a big glass of ice I guess

[apiarycryptonaut]

So um, 4t le4st... if it's stuck inside... it c4nt flood, no!
So th4t's better, now.
M4ybe, um, I think?
Bec4use you don't w4nt... it to flood, no.
Step one, re4ssur4nce, m4ybe?

[soundtricks]

I guess you're right
doesn't mean I have to ~like it~ though
I mean it's just so much fucking water just...
who the fuck makes a whole ~planet~ like that, honestly♫
stupid, stupid seadwellers
nothing but trouble, all of them

[apiarycryptonaut]

I'm gl4d my pl4net... doesn't h4ve w4ter like... th4t, no, I think.
But mine doesn't h4ve... much w4ter 4t 4ll.
I c4n't im4gine th4t... much 4ll in one... pl4ce, or more, no.
But um, m4ybe if... they like w4ter 4s... much 4s I like... puzzles 4nd skulls, I... might underst4nd, I think!
But I h4ven't he4rd... 4nyone s4y they liked... w4ter th4t much, no.
So th4t's just very... very very very confusing.

[soundtricks]

really♫
I thought there was a fish on your team
I'm surprised she hasn't been complaining about water being lacking or something
you know, stupid shit
like all the stupid seadwellers do

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh um, no, 4ctu4lly!
Or um, m4ybe she's... distr4cted with other things?
But um I h4ven't... re4lly t4lked to her... I think she's been... focused on the g4me!

[soundtricks]

that or she's dead
to which I say: good riddance to bad rubbish

fucking fish will probably just wind up killing us all eventually

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh um, I don't... w4nt 4ny pl4yers to... die but um I... 4lso don't w4nt them... to kill other pl4yers.
So um, I hope... she's not de4d 4nd... 4bsolutely not going to... hurt 4ny other pl4yers!
I hope, yes, um.

[soundtricks]

well, she's a highblood
going bugfucking nuts and murdering trolls for fun is what they do

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh um, oh, th4t's... m4ybe true I think?
I think I re4d... th4t before, m4ybe, yes.
But you've seen them... h4ven't you, um, Zur4he?
You're definitely right, yes.

[soundtricks]

it's definitely true
I've seen it myself

[apiarycryptonaut]

I thought so, yes.
I believe you, Zur4he!
I'll definitely be on... the lookout, in c4se.
Bec4use I don't w4nt... 4nyone to kill 4nyone.

[soundtricks]

good, but don't do anything stupid
I don't think you can take a highblood on your own

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh no, I won't!
I would prob4bly run.
4nd be s4fe, yes.

[soundtricks]

probably a good idea, yeah

[apiarycryptonaut]

I 4gree completely, yes.
Bec4use I won't die!

[soundtricks]

you keep saying that... but I have yet to see any giant monsters being slain
so until that happens, I guess I'll just have to hope you're right

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh um, m4ybe I... should show it when... I do it, m4ybe?
When I get the... skull out, th4t is?
I c4n do th4t!
So you c4n see... me sl4ying gi4nt monsters!
4nd getting 4n imp... skull, or ogre skull!

[soundtricks]

yeah sure
if you can manage to stream it, why the fuck not♫
it'll be educational or some shit

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh, yes, ok4y, Zur4he!
I'll definitely do th4t!
4nd then everyone else... will know how, too!
To get 4n imp... skull, th4t is, yes.
4nd 4lso m4ybe how... to sl4y imps, m4ybe!
Th4t would be very... good, I think, m4ybe?
Bec4use some pl4yers 4re... very sc4red of th4t!
I w4s, m4ybe, but... then it turned out... to be e4sy, yes!
4nd 4 little fun!

[soundtricks]

oh my fuck
'imp slaying for fun, profit and skull harvesting', a video guide by Avispa Kusbir, age 7

if that's what it takes for some trolls around here to start killing imps
I may literally laugh myself into a mild coma

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh um, but m4ybe!
M4ybe it could help?
We won't know if... we don't do it!
Or um, if I... don't do it, no.
So I'll do it!

[soundtricks]

welp
this outta be both hilarious and highly worrying

[apiarycryptonaut]

I think the first... one more th4n the... second one, prob4bly, yes!
I don't think there's... 4ny re4son to fe4r!

[soundtricks]

if you say so, space cadet
just make sure you don't get distracted by the camera fighting imps, ok♫