[S] Zurahe: Freak The Fuck Out

[soundtricks]

-- CURRENT blackoutEtude [BE] RIGHT NOW opened memo WHAT THE FUCK♫♪. --

Your name is ZURAHE CADENS, and once again you've chosen to make a VIDEO MEMO rather than a TEXT one. However, taking into account the situation at hand, you feel as if you are HIGHLY JUSTIFIED in doing so. After all, it's not every day a CHUNK OF OCEAN replaces a part of the planet you'd been headed toward, and remains, to your relief, more or less SELF-CONTAINED. You're not sure what you'd do if it started flooding- you hate deep water and just about everything having to do with it. It's a lucky thing for you that the water doesn't seem to be going anywhere. YET.

You're not sure whether you're more ENRAGEDd or TERRIFIED by this phenomenon, so naturally you choose to display the latter, expression twisting into a snarl. You turn on and pan the camera of one of your spare computers around, and make sure the mic to your A.V.E.S. is turned off before you actually 'speak'.




So. Who wants to fucking tell me. Just what the actual fresh fuckin' HELL I'm looking at here?

Because from what I can tell, it looks like there's a fuckload of ocean sitting in the middle of my goddamn planet and it ain't supposed to be-- Princess, I'm lookin' at you.


Now. Can someone tell me how to get all this bulgesucking water off my PLANET?!

Comments

[soundtricks]

well
that's better than nothing
and it's sure as hell better than this other idiot's talk about digging
seriously, who even does that♫

1/3

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh, ok4y, yes, I... c4n 4lchemize something right... now, I c4n, yes!
Um um um um... I'll be right b4ck!
I know ex4ctly wh4t... might work, I do!

--apiaryCryptonaut [AC] is now an idle chum! --

2/3

[apiarycryptonaut]

You set your husktop shades aside, incidentally on top of your husktop, and rush over to do some alchemizing.

You know exactly what you're going to alchemize! You know exactly what three things you've found that could work! You throw down the CRYOFIELD GENERATOR, one grenade from the DETECTING COMPOUND-GRENADE BELT (it's a good thing you found out these don't work!), and a pile of GUN PIECES that you couldn't ever salvage.

Obviously you're making something cold, because of the CRYOFIELD, and something that will explode because of the GRENADE, and then the ability to fire it far away with the GUN. There is no way that this could go wrong!

3/3

[apiarycryptonaut]

Okay you were wrong, it went wrong. It went wrong four times. But you're not going to talk about those four times, neither are you going to mention the holes in the walls nor the frozen honeycombs that your lusus is panicking over. What's important is that you DID manage to successfully find out how to alchemize a CRYO-LAUNCHER. Better yet, you found the CODE for it, too!

...You might have taken a little bit longer than expected, though. Or maybe a lot longer. You wondered for a moment if there was water on your planet, too, but you didn't investigate outside. After all, you have to give this code to Zurahe!

--apiaryCryptonaut [AC] is no longer an idle chum! --

Zur4he Zur4he Zur4he Zur4he!
I did it, yes!
I m4de ex4ctly wh4t... you need to freeze... 4ll th4t w4ter, yes!
It's 4ctu4lly re4lly e4sy!
Just use this code!
The code, um: fRZzb0mZ

[soundtricks]

You don't even get a chance to respond before she wanders off, and you'd almost forgotten about her idea by the time she gets back, busy as you are making sure the ocean isn't spilling into the nearby trees and possibly the closest village.

you did what♫
oh
you actually figured something out♫
alright, I guess I can go try this out

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh, yes, I did!
Y4y, um, y4y, yes!
4nd um, Zur4he, um... let me know if... it works well, ok4y?
I think it works... ex4ctly like it should.
It froze honeycombs solid... so w4ter should freeze... e4sier, prob4bly, I think.

1/2

[soundtricks]

yeah, yeah- gimme a sec I'll see how it works


--blackoutEtude [BE] is now an idle chum! --

2/2

[soundtricks]

You turn your attention to alchemizing and find, much to your surprise, that the weapon actually WORKS. It does not freeze as much as you'd hoped at once but it will have to do.

This is going to take a while.

I fucking hate water

[apiarycryptonaut]

You happily wait for word back from Zurahe, but then you blink and stare at her response when she returns.

W4it um, did the... w4ter do something else?

[soundtricks]

no, it's just
a lot of stupid water and I hate it a lot

[apiarycryptonaut]

Um is it freezing... 4nd not moving now?
So um, is it... not w4ter now, Zur4he?
Once it's 4ll not... w4ter th4t will be... 4 lot better, yes!

[soundtricks]

just cause it's ice now doesn't mean it was never water
besides I'm pretty sure it didn't freeze entirely
just the outsides not all the way through
so now its just water sitting inside a big glass of ice I guess

[apiarycryptonaut]

So um, 4t le4st... if it's stuck inside... it c4nt flood, no!
So th4t's better, now.
M4ybe, um, I think?
Bec4use you don't w4nt... it to flood, no.
Step one, re4ssur4nce, m4ybe?

[soundtricks]

I guess you're right
doesn't mean I have to ~like it~ though
I mean it's just so much fucking water just...
who the fuck makes a whole ~planet~ like that, honestly♫
stupid, stupid seadwellers
nothing but trouble, all of them

[apiarycryptonaut]

I'm gl4d my pl4net... doesn't h4ve w4ter like... th4t, no, I think.
But mine doesn't h4ve... much w4ter 4t 4ll.
I c4n't im4gine th4t... much 4ll in one... pl4ce, or more, no.
But um, m4ybe if... they like w4ter 4s... much 4s I like... puzzles 4nd skulls, I... might underst4nd, I think!
But I h4ven't he4rd... 4nyone s4y they liked... w4ter th4t much, no.
So th4t's just very... very very very confusing.

[soundtricks]

really♫
I thought there was a fish on your team
I'm surprised she hasn't been complaining about water being lacking or something
you know, stupid shit
like all the stupid seadwellers do

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh um, no, 4ctu4lly!
Or um, m4ybe she's... distr4cted with other things?
But um I h4ven't... re4lly t4lked to her... I think she's been... focused on the g4me!

[soundtricks]

that or she's dead
to which I say: good riddance to bad rubbish

fucking fish will probably just wind up killing us all eventually

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh um, I don't... w4nt 4ny pl4yers to... die but um I... 4lso don't w4nt them... to kill other pl4yers.
So um, I hope... she's not de4d 4nd... 4bsolutely not going to... hurt 4ny other pl4yers!
I hope, yes, um.

[soundtricks]

well, she's a highblood
going bugfucking nuts and murdering trolls for fun is what they do

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh um, oh, th4t's... m4ybe true I think?
I think I re4d... th4t before, m4ybe, yes.
But you've seen them... h4ven't you, um, Zur4he?
You're definitely right, yes.

[soundtricks]

it's definitely true
I've seen it myself

[apiarycryptonaut]

I thought so, yes.
I believe you, Zur4he!
I'll definitely be on... the lookout, in c4se.
Bec4use I don't w4nt... 4nyone to kill 4nyone.

[soundtricks]

good, but don't do anything stupid
I don't think you can take a highblood on your own

[apiarycryptonaut]

Oh no, I won't!
I would prob4bly run.
4nd be s4fe, yes.